Advice in a Scottish Accent

(start now)

being depressed is depressing

...so don’t do it

same goes for being boring

git oot with ye pinched yawns

being anything less than yourself

that’s very boring and all been done before

by nameless individuals some of note

in case you seem to think we wasn’t sure

i needed to write something special

something that everyone should read

i spilled out meaningless mind mumbles

in spite in demand instead and indeed

so i decided right then and there

in order to be properly heard

i’ve have to pretend to be foreign

i needed to curl and timbre my word

more Spud Murphy than a grooving pict

i crudely curled my tongue and uttered

a strange Hibernian flavoured gibberish

i crossed my eyes my fingers and muttered

i feel a cringe surge and rise from deep within

once again everything went black

i had crossed another invisible line

and from that there’s no coming back

ya ken?

(finished)