Addict

I am an addict.

When I was a child I was addicted to adventures. Adventures that consisted of new horizons and dirt roads untaken. I craved the sunrises of forbidden journeys taken at night. A sense of peace found rising from the darkness. What wonders a new day would bring. I just kept wanting more.

When I was slightly older. Not by much my heart craved more. Something closer to home that was taken but not soon forgotten. I was addicted to love. I found multiple hearts. They were filled with darkness coated in sweetness that made my teeth ache. Days of fighting turned to nights of lovemaking. How normal it seemed through blinded eyes. Even with the pain I just wanted more.

After that one tragic night. A night filled with heartbreak and agony. I craved for someone, something to numb the pain. A pain so fierce, it tore my heart in two. Screaming and pleading I silenced the voices. Voices that ran deep until I took my doses. Self-medicated to the point of no return. I prayed for darkness to swoop in and take me away. Even after almost dying, I kept craving more...

I craved... to be seen. Someone to understand ME. To be noticed and loved. I wanted someone to love me as I would love them. I wanted our hearts to collide and burst with passion. Exploding into colors that would paint our way. New beginnings and horizons to be reached. I craved a future with a calm love and embrace. A sense of peace that would follow along our journey. A home I could finally call my own.

I'm addicted to my peace of mind...