A Mean and Jealous Sort

Apollo, your cockiness has doomed you to chase

a girl who always runs away. Cupid saw to that when he shot

you with an arrow of love and her with one full of hate.

Poor Daphne had to be turned into a tree in order to be

safe from your incessant nagging.

Athena, your pride overrules your level headed military mind.

All Arachne wanted was validation of her craft.

Simply speaking, to be the single best satin sewer. Now a spider.

When it comes to weaving, you are second to no human,

but how does it feel to be worse than billions of spiders?

Hera, your jealousy may have caused the most violence of all.

First, you ruin Herakles’ life by making him murder his family, twice.

Then, you prolong the Trojan War because Paris did not accept

your bribe. Finally you, knowing you cannot change fate,

assault Aeneas because you dislike his great ancestors.

Oedipus’ story is perhaps the worst because you wanton

criminals broke him for no reason. His parents gave him away

so he would not kill his father, and he ran from the adopters

so he would not marry his mother. But, regardless of these attempts,

Laius is killed, Jocasta is married, and Thebes has famine.

Petty offenses for petty gods. What does it take to please you?

Surely we mere humans would have to move mountains

in order to appease such powerful beings. If our appearance

is too attractive, our skills too artful, our families too

incorrect, what are we to do to save ourselves from your ire?

Baucis and Philemon knew. An ordinary elderly couple

has the secret we have been searching for.

If simply providing shelter for two weary travelers

can yield a reward from the Kings of Punishment,

what mean sort would raise a wall?