"A Grain of Sand"

Am I holding on
To something that's dead?
Is this all from my heart,
Or all in my head?
Is the scarring of flesh
Against the blade of time
Really the place
To make all this align?
In from my center
Stretching out through my hand...
I miss your sweet face
Over all in this land.
What I would give
To turn back the clock
To have swam in the memories
Where we kept with the flock,
But like so many sheep
We wantingly stray,
Searching all through the night,
Wandering all through the day.
It's a vortex it seems
That we found our way to..
And to keep you from harm
I kept me from you...
I've stared in the abyss
Too many times it may seem...
Is this all waking life?
Or is this a dream?
Why is it I see you
In and out through the fog?
Will you wait by the gate
For this feral old dog?
Why is it with death
There's a promise of new?
Could I give it all back
For one second with you?
Just long enough
To say all thats unsaid...
That you are here in my heart
And you're here in my head...
What if I'd been there
When you were found at your end?
Could I have fought against death
To save a dear friend?
Could I have made a bargain...
It's between here and naught...
In a sea of these questions
I find myself caught...
Once again all the tears
Will soon fill my eyes
As I brave a new day
In this empire of lies...
Whom do I blame?
With whom is my fight?
Do I war against day?
Do I war against night?
Do I just keep on walking
While hoping you see
All the things that I do
For you...and for me...
When will I finally
Feel I've atoned...
So my spirit can rest
And I can go home...
In the deep endless river
That runs through my soul
Are memories of a woman
I can never make whole...
It's just in my dreams
Where I can still see your face...
But when I awaken
I must keep running my race...
If access was granted
For just one more day
I would hold you until
The winds blew you away...
Till all that was left
Was just one grain of sand...
And they would find me years later
With it still in my hand...
They say it's a gamble
Between heaven or grave
And it's the scars that we get
That soon make us brave
And it's in falling down
That we learn how to stand...
Or how a life can be measured
By just one grain of sand.