3am Thoughts

Nights without eyelids closing

Thoughts in my head, rolling

About things I need to unfold

And roll over on stones

If I love her so much, then why is it so hard to be there?

I get so side tracked and feel like being alone is the remedy

Lately been having good days

Wondering when the worst would come again

Wondering if this path is for me

Or I am just walking on instinct

If I could smell my past , it would stink

And hurt like being stung by a thousand bees

And at 3am , I'm thinking

About what I am missing

Decisions I would soon be making

If Big Guy is recording, that's some tapping

He put a little peace and I'm happy

Look at the sky and start gasping

I shouldn't worry about these no more

He's my calm in the storm

New chapters, my ink loading

Therapist said dig it, I feel it's time wasted

I put further energy in my aura, creating

More into being the me I've been craving

While I wonder if I have found true peace

Or if sadness took a break off my streets.