[3:33/8.5.17]

Sometimes when talking, I think it'd be best if I were drunk. High on something. Twitchy from all the energy drinks I've forced myself to consume before we talk. Because a hyper me beats the awkward silence that might happen. The awkward silence that will never happen because I've fucked up.

My brain said no to what my heart wanted and now I'm fucked up. I'd blame you, but there's really no point. I have no reason to. You were someone in my life that ran away.

I bet if it could, my heart would stop beating to see the joy of me finally in pain. I've caused it so much heartache, but now it has the chance to do the same thing to me and it would not pass that up.