11:45pm

I knew you wouldn’t feel the same

I guess maybe that’s why I kept so many things left unsaid

the restless nights when all I thought about was to open up to you about how you would never leave my mind..

but I didn’t. I swallowed every word just to not lose you again..

I knew you never wanted me for ME.

but at times I liked to think I did mean something to you..at least once.

all you ever really desired was a feeling you were never able to reciprocate back

even when I saw the red signs posted in every direction, so clearly, I didn’t care.

we both wanted different things..

I loved everything about you and wanted to love you, but for you..

you just craved my body..

deciding to let go isn’t something I ever wanted to do..

but was something I had to do for myself.

although i tried to erase you from my heart

the memories we cherished so deeply would splatter across every inch of my heart

leading me to find EVERY excuse to choose you... again.

I didn’t have it in me to lose you so quickly..

you were the only person I ever looked forward to talk to every day.

when I had no one else, you were there.

you were the ONLY person I would give my entire world to.

you were the ONLY reason my heart would fall into a million pieces when I saw you

your smile lightened up my heart during my darkest days

although everything I wanted was right in front of me, you failed to see that through me..

...maybe in another life time we could meet again.. and maybe this time you’d realize just how much you meant to me