In the dead of night she sits there.
Masked in a shadow of anxiety and insecurity.
She's drowning in it, but still she sits.
Her thoughts are eating her from the inside out, but she's still.
She doesn't quiver, or run.
She sits, waiting, hoping the feeling will soon pass.
But it doesn't.
She can feel the adrenaline coursing through her veins, urging her to scream and dig her nails deep into her skin.
Still, she just sits there.
Fighting back the tears.
She can feel her throat begin to burn, making it harder and harder to hold back her sobbing.
But she stays fighting.
She refuses to be weak.
She knows if the tears that are forming in her eyes leak out, she loses.
She sits still, eerily still.
She can't move.
She's frozen with fear.
Fear of her thoughts, her feelings.
It's getting harder to breathe.
She clenches the sheets in her hands and shuts her eyes, gasping for air.
It feels so good as it fills her lungs but it's short lived as her chest tightens again.
She's shaking now.
She tries to grasp another breath but it hurts.
She tries again, and this time a noise escape her lips.
She reaches for her throat, silently begging it to open.
But it tightens.
She lowers her head and she can feel her face getting wet.
She's lost the battle once again and the thought makes her cringe as she begins to sob uncontrollably.
She's screaming now, grabbing at her hair and pulling tight.
She's trying so hard to just breathe, but she can't remember how.
When will it stop?
Her thoughts are driving her crazy but they won't be silenced.
She hugs herself tightly, rocking back and forth but she can't calm down.
Her heart is beating so fast that it feels as if it's about to jump out of her chest, or just stop beating completely.
She cries louder and it's the only sound that can be heard.
It echoes through the apartment.
She needs air.
She picks herself up and runs for the closest exit.
Barefoot she runs towards the road, tears streaming down her face.
She reaches the edge of the drive way and she stops.
Slowly falling to the floor she opens her mouth and inhales deeply.
She can feel the air and she lets out a loud sigh.
She sits there for a moment, allowing the cold to take over.
Her heart begins to slow down and she tells herself she's gonna be okay.
She's been here before.
The anxiety slowly begins to subside.
She wipes the remaining tears from her eyes and gets up.
She's tired now, so tired.
She makes her way back into the building, back to her apartment.
She's reaches her bed and sits down.
The room is still cloaked in darkness but still, she sits.
Her body needs rest but her mind is still buzzing.
She waits a minute, trying to quiet the noise.
But she can't.
So still she sits, in the dead of night.
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