You Weren't Here Long Enough

There are three things I know when it comes to you, Caleb, and they are as follows: You were one of the best cats I have ever had in my near twenty-six years, you weren't here near long enough (only near six years), and I will never be able to thank my cousin Justin enough for deciding to give you to us after you were born. I fell in love with you and your half-brother in an instant, and you were my first Manx, Little Buddy, and the two of you were my first set of half-brothers. Every animal I've had has been more than just a pet, and you were no exception; you always knew how to make me feel better when I was sick, or upset in any way, and with the way my life's been going lately, you've been so much more than just my cat: You've been my best friend and my shoulder to cry on, more so than any human friend ever has been.

When I lose a friend (furry or otherwise) I'm reminded how much love hurts, but also how beautiful it can be. If I were writing this in a journal the tears would make it illegible; you've been gone since early this morning, Little Buddy, and yet it wasn't until I started typing out my thoughts and feelings that the tears finally started to fall. I know that your brother will probably sleep with me tonight, and if he doesn't- the kitten will- but even though you hadn't done it for a long time, part of me wishes it would be you cuddling up next to me tonight. I miss you, so much, Caleb. The tears feel like fire, and my heart feels like it's breaking with every beat. You were taken too soon.

We all thought we had ten more years with you, at least... You may have been a big boy, but you were always going to be my baby. None of the other animals are acting right, not even the chickens, who barely knew you. Your brother's clinging closer, and the dogs are watching me, like they're waiting for me to break down again.

This is day two without you, Caleb... When we came home from dinner tonight, your brother greeted us... It didn't feel right not being able to say hi to you. I'll never forget you and your purr.

I don't know if you heard the last things I said to you, but I want to repeat those things here: I love you, Buddy. It's okay; You're okay. You're a good boy. I love you, Little Buddy. I'll see you again, some day.... There's one more thing I want to say.... I know when you were with us, you didn't like loud noises, but I hope you make some noise up there, with all of the others we've lost over the years. I know you, Albert, Hojo, Millie, and many more are chasing each other up trees and over the creek up there. I want you to have as much fun as possible while you're waiting for us; I'll take care of D'artagnan, Malakai, and the others, until it's their time to join the rest of you.

It'll never be the same without you, or the others, and I know this isn't the last time I'll feel like this, but if waiting to see all of you again means that I get more years with the ones that loved you when you were here.... Then I guess I can wait. Don't hesitate to visit whenever you want though. This will always be your home, Little Buddy.