Unpopular Opinion: my dog is not my “baby”.

Let's just rip off the bandaid: I despise the phrase "dog mom". I know, I'm a monster, and my poor sad dog must long for a motherly figure in her life every day she spends with me. Let me clarify: my dog is very loved, and is my trusty sidekick in most day-to-day life activities I can get away with bringing her along for. Do I let her sleep on my bed even though I vowed I wouldn't? Yep. Does she get her own donut when we stop at the donut shop? Always. Do I take her for doggy play dates to my parents' place to play with their dog so she doesn't get bored? Guilty. BUT. I am NOT my dog's mom, and I cannot stand when people refer to me as such.

I just find it... creepy! I don't want "dog mom" mugs, or shirts, or car decals. I don't run an instagram account where I creepily write from the first person perspective as my dog and refer to myself as her mom. I don't have a paw print tattooed on my ass, either. It's an unpopular opinion but it's mine: being a "dog parent" is not a personality, because dogs are not children... they're dogs.

Before you start grabbing your torches and pitchforks, allow me to explain where I believe this opinion originates. I'm not some psychopath that doesn't think dogs are absolutely adorable goofballs. This unpopular opinion isn't one that comes from a place of not loving dogs, or thinking dogs don't need a lot of care or attention. It's actually because of how much I respect dogs.

I grew up with a minimum of three dogs surrounding me at all times during my childhood, and I loved those dogs dearly. They were my companions and my protectors, my family members, even. I missed each one of them so much as they each grew old and passed on. Our dogs were a part of our family as the family dogs, though: not as our "babies", not as our "siblings", as our dogs.

My parents loved and deeply respected our dogs, and so they taught me that dogs were extremely smart, loyal, and sensitive beings that deserved respect as much as they deserved love. I was taught that playing with my dog needed to be fun for the dog, too, or the dog may get upset: this meant I needed to stop trying to put their ears in scrunchies, attempting to play dentist just because their "teeth looked fun", and, no matter how large our dogs were in comparison to me, this generally meant I needed to refrain from trying to ride the dogs like a horse. I grew up not considering dogs to be babies or children, but almost equating them to respectable adults with boundaries.

I guess I find the "dog parent" culture creepy because to me it feels like infantilizing an entire intelligent species that lives on this earth. Dogs are technically adults after their first year or two of life, so it's weird to keep calling them babies and children. It's not that by calling a dog your child you are implying you don't respect them (at least I hope anyone who has human children respects them regardless of them being your child). It's more-so awkward in the way that super condescending people call you "kiddo" well after you reach adulthood, or when you are under the age of 35 and have an opinion on anything and someone says you're "just a baby".

I certainly agree that a pet needs to understand that as their owner, you are in charge, but for some reason it just feels so creepy to me to establish that as a "I'm your mommy/daddy" thing. Also, I'm going to get real for a second here: your dog had a mom and a dad. And, especially if you bought your dog from a breeder, you're kind of the reason they don't see their mom or dad anymore and have that orphan trauma in the first place. So put that in your weird ass pipe that you probably got "dog mom" engraved on and smoke it.

I think what bugs me most is that everyone who subscribes to the whole "my dog is my child thing" is so offended that I don't call my dog my baby. I just feel the judgment seeping from their pores the moment I correct them. For example:

Dog Mom: "Oh, look at her! She's like, 'hey mom! where are the treats?'"

What I say: "Actually, she probably isn't 'like that', because I'm not her mom."

What Dog Mom Heard: "This sad orphaned soul longs for me to accept her as my daughter and I will not do so. Also, she does not get treats because I am a terrible dog owner with no heart. Also, I don't think Hitler was a bad person."

So, there you have it. I own a dog, but I am not a dog mom. This isn't to say I won't be friends with the dog parent types: trust me, I am surrounded by them. Much like politics, religion, or the way someone prefers to drink their coffee, these are things that if we disagree, we can respectfully do so and move on with our friendship. If you can stand to be around such a monster, that is.