The important thing about a man and his dog

He, and me, and G.

We love this spot.

We love this spot because of the dog, and because of the ocean and each of our connection with it. And I can only speak for me, but I love this spot because of us.

All of us.

She is everything to him - and yep...I am completely and totally good with it. I do not have to be everything to this man. I am perfectly elatedly, ecstatically GOOD, with the FACT that Nani Girl is everything to him.

I am elated to be part of their lives.

In fact, I am SO good with it - she is a BIG reason why he is such a big giant part of my life.

So, too, is She.

A man who loves a creature who can only give him that love back in return, with that love being the only thing that she can return, is what makes me love him like I do - all she can do is love him.

I can relate, because that is all I can do, too - I just love this man. This is all he asks...that, and that I be a little less talkative while watching television.

I call her Nani Girl. She has ALWAYS answered to it, from the moment that I started calling her this. It is her name. I gave her that name.

Her inoa. Her name.

Inoa translates to name in ʻolelo - ʻolelo is the actual Hawaiian language.

In my culture, a name is a very important thing, for both our earthly and spiritual lineage - kau inoa - to name something, to name someone, is a very important thing. It signifies that it is or they are part of our lineage, and sometimes, at least in my world, that lineage does not have to include any kind of blood relation.

We are family, and that is that.

An animal does not need blood quantum to be our family, to be an important part of our lives. The moment that we lock eyes with another Being, that moment becomes locked in time and that moment becomes locked inside of us. The outcome is never ours. We are taught in that moment that it is not the moment that matters, but what it meant to us.

So it is with a man and his dog.

That is who is in the photo - my man, and his dog.

And any female human being who is jealous of the love between a man and his dog needs to go back home and hug that pet of hers that too many of us wants to think of a merely some sort of trinket, akin to a bracelet, and yes - you know who you are, all of you.

This is the way that a whole LOT of women look at men in their lives, in general - as though somehow, they are just these trinkets, just these people, these humans in our lives who are there to do our bidding, to wait on us hand and foot and to treat us like a princess even though we want to be the Queen.

I promise - I Am the Queen, because he already has a Princess, and I call her Nani Girl. He loves her ENDLESSLY, and hell no, ever, never have I ever been jealous of how much he loves this creature.

And really, I cannot blame him, because really, she is, at least to me, also MY Nani Girl - I mean, I DID give her that name (inoa, in my language, do not forget) and she DOES answer to it, just like my guys who live with me....Smokey the new guy, and Ashes the big giant silver tabby cat and my teenager, Tita, an almost 18 year old Chihuahua who might not be able to see very well but, she is every bit as spry as she has always been.

I could not wait to show my guy the pictures of Smokey (the new guy) and why?

Because I have always understood the value of Love in its purest form. The way that a man treats his pets is also the way that this same man will treat everyone else in his life who he loves - including you, so long as yours is as real as his is.

You do not have to believe me.

All you have to do is pay attention.

Instead of getting ass hurt over how much time he spends doting on his dog, embrace the idea, the fact that he can love anyone that much - and DO NOT forget that THAT ANIMAL HAS BEEN THERE LONGER THAN YOU HAVE BEEN and will be there longer than you, if you choose to become a jealous hag over it.

The dog loves him no matter what.

Plenty of women put conditions on things (and none of us really thinks about the idea that we donʻt want to change - THEY HAVE TO....???) (Can you walk on water, dear?) and plenty of women want what we cannot have from men who cannot provide more than what we have seen.

And lots of the women who would get mad at reading that last thing are also the sort who send emails and letters and post in forums about how they cannot understand why it is that the dog is more important to him that they are.

Well, how long has he known you, and are you willing to think of things that way? It is not like I did not also have pets -I had three, I have always had three, and when one of them is not feeling well it is like my own kid (of which I also have three) is not feeling well.

When a man loves his pet like he does, it is not ours to try to be more important to him than someone (yes - SOMEONE) who has been there NO MATTER WHAT. You cannot say the same.

Hell, I cannot say the same - I have children.

He has Nani Girl. And yes, if you do not have your own kids, then the pets in your life become that which and who take the place of those kids.

And forget about the whole idea that someone is not able to commit just because they do not have children. I love how it is mostly women who think that it is because the man cannot handle being a parent. None of us thinks about the idea that maybe it is the man who can see that not many women are willing to argue and defend themselves with an original thought (we do it more than the guys do, ladies, and you know we do and always have), as opposed to the kids they made together, as a means by which to defend themselves.

We are not all angels, and none of us can walk on water, and if you can walk on water, then we need to let the Ghost Adventure guys know because they like to put that stuff on their show - because even those guys are going to want to see that.

Just because a man has no children, it does not mean he has no heart. It, at least for me, means the exact opposite -because I watch him pour his heart into this Being who is so dependent on him for everything. I have three actual human beings for kids. Two of them are actual "adults" in the sense that they can buy alcohol, stay out past 10 PM, and vote, and the other one still has a year to go.

Yet, all three of them still need me. I know this because they tell me this, all the time.

Outside of my guy and Nani Girl, my kids are all I have. They are my family, as much as the cats, Smokey and Ashes, and the dog, 18 year old Tita, are my family, as are my friends.

Nani Girl was my guyʻs family LONG before I was part of their lives.

I cannot and will not ever try to do whatever is "compete" with that. I do not have the right. He loves her. They are each otherʻs and I am theirs but, they come as a set. One is not to be without the other.

And if this is not the way that you see things, namely if upon first meeting, he actually introduced you to this creature and saw that you could communicate with her, then there is no question, or at least there ought to not be one, as to how he feels about you. You are not there to compete with his dog for his attention - the dog was there first. If you cannot deal with that, then you are not with the right person and you need to move on.

A big part of why he loves you is because of that dog. Without that dog, he might not have recollection of what trust looks like, feels like, or know it for real -meaning that you could talk and talk and talk but until he sees how you interact with that animal and NOT the other way around, you are GOING TO BE very disappointed because you do not realize that you have to accept them both.

I never didnʻt. I have loved this little girl from the very moment that he had to tell her to stop jumping on me and I told him to just let her be. She loves everyone from the first moment that she meets you (and WILL NOT EVEN bother with you if she doesnʻt) .

She loved me from the first moment he told her to stop.

I told him she was fine, and I got down to her level and let her know that in no way would I ever try to be who made her feel like I was somehow more important. I have always known that I am important to him.

I have always known that she is important -she was there first.

And girls, if you cannot see how much he loves this creature, or that the amount of love that he will also give you will be the same, BUT, you have to be who you are - then turn around NOW and walk away.

This is what is so special about pets, but dogs and to a certain degree cats - they know who is true, and they know who they can trust, and they will do everything that they can to make sure that their parents ALSO know who can be trusted.

Nani Girl has loved me, has trusted me, from day one.

Just like an actual female will, Nani Girl ALWAYS finds the bushes to pee in, when her pop and me are camping, that do not have critters in it - laugh all you want to, but, she does not scream - she just keeps on looking.

None of my human girlie pals would keep moving. Just like me, the moment they see a bug, or a snake, or some other thing that we all hate, they would be running away like the sissy lalas we can all be.

But not Nani Girl. She just keeps looking for a safe clean space. I realize that this is a bit of a crude way to explain it but, it is also the one time that I know a LOT of women can relate to hahahahahaa - to pee safely in the wilderness is a very good indicator of who has your back.

That is golden - just like my guyʻs dog.

If you really want to love a man, love his dog first. If you see how he is with his dog, you will see how he will treat you, as well, so long as you never ever believe for one moment that you are more important than his dog - you are not.

You can, though, have that same level of importance.

No I am not comparing you to a dog - please get your motherʻs words out of your ears. I am not saying that is what he equates you with. What I am saying is that if this human being can become completely selfless with a being that cannot possibly talk to him and tell him what its issues are, but he can pretty much guess, just by watching her behavior, what the hell she needs?

Imagine what he can, and I can only speak for myself when I say, and WILL do for you, and all and only because you CAN state what it is that you need from him. The dog cannot do that but you can.

Find me a man who is NOT going to look for the instructions on how to put something together, how to figure something out.

The dog cannot do that.

But you can.

Think about it.

Seriously.