Ten Lessons I Learned From My Dog

I don't get people who don't get dogs.

I don't like all dogs, just like I don't like all people. They have distinct personalities, and some are infinitely more likeable than others. Some are probably basically decent, but seem to have been poorly raised. But on the whole, I'm a dog person, and I'm going to spell it out to you exactly why.

Sure, dogs can be smelly and messy and gross... but so can people.

In fact, the worst things about most dogs are still better than the best things about most people.

I'll wait while you read that line again.

I think, even if you don't like dogs very much, and whether or not you choose to share your life and home with one, their value should be obvious. Reams have already been written about their loyalty, companionship, intelligence, and humour. (Yes, they do have a sense of humour.)

But more than that, human beings collectively have a strong natural affinity with dogs. People have speculated about why this is. Could be similar family structures. Could be how long we've shared our firesides with them. Domestication of the dog goes back 100,000 years. Me? I think their domestication was a keystone of our humanity. It's thanks to dogs that we have evolved the way we have.

Don't believe me?

When we teamed up with them long long ago to help us hunt food, we no longer needed such complex olfactory systems. We could let our pal Fido take over on that front in an evolutionary sense, allowing us to develop mouths, vocal chords etc. Dogs could well be the reason we have such complex speech, the reason we can tell stories and keep histories. Surely it's this that sets us apart from other animals - and it never would have been possible without dogs.

We owe dogs a debt, even if we don't like them. A debt probably beyond comprehension.

At the same time, we don't deserve them, even if we love them.

People say dogs are man's best friend, but I don't let my best friend sleep in my bed. I don't expect them to shit in my garden either. No, dogs have a unique role in our lives, and "best friend" doesn't even come close.

All that said, most people shouldn't have one, because while dogs are an amazing species, people generally suck. People are all too often ignorant, mean, and lacking in common sense and foresight. There are too many dogs. It's probably truer to say that's far too many idiots who went out and got a dog in 2020.

This is my tribute to this noble* species. I give you:

Ten Lessons I've Learned From My Dog

1. Fart generously

2. Always lick the tub

3. Drool is a love language

4. Light up with joy like a Christmas tree when your loved one enters the room. Every time is a sweet reunion, as if you'd been parted for many months. Note: this is regardless of how long you've actually been apart. Even if it was 37 seconds.

5. Walking outside in the fresh air is God. Do it every day, twice if possible. Many problems will arise otherwise.

6. If the prospect of another helping brings you so much joy that you wiggle on the spot, have it.

7. Who needs heroin when you can get your ears rubbed?

8. You can never have too many snuggles.

9. Napping is an Olympic sport. Take it seriously.

10. You can't fit two balls in your mouth, but you can have a lot of fun trying.

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This was inspired by Angie the Archivist's post, "Live Like a Labrador". (I have a staffie, but most of the principles are the same.)

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Thank you for reading! If you love dogs, too, tell me what they bring to your life.

If you don't like or value them at all, well, that's OK. You're allowed to be wrong.

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The "noble" species: