All My Kittens

In their hotel in Tahiti, Wilburn and Tawny notice that everyone there seems to be coughing and sneezing.

"Excuse me," Wilburn says to the young bellboy as he carries their luggage to their room.

"Yes, Mr. Garson?"

"Is there something wrong with the air quality here? Everyone is sneezing and coughing. I am no medical professional I am just a curious chief executive officer of Garson Industries."

"I really don't know. Last summer we had a tropical disease. Some dog I believe it was a cocker spaniel came here from Japan, and he contaminated many. Do not fear. You are safe because your room is equipped with a hospital quality air filtration system," the bellboy attempts to calm and soothe in hopes of getting a big tip from Wilburn.

"Now will Mrs. Garson be joining you later? And I assume that you want a separate suite for your daughter," the bellboy assumes as he sneezes and coughs.

"She is not my daughter," Wilburn snaps. "Tawny is my smoking hot sex kitten of a girlfriend. Mrs. Garson and I have been having marital problems for eons," Wilbur explains.

"Who is having marital problems?" a housekeeper walking down the hall inquires.

"Mr. and Mrs. Garson are having marriage troubles, the bellboy informs.

"What a shame? Please know that I took an online course on marriage counseling a few summers ago. This is my card if you need me. I am available on Zoom or you can chat with me or see me in person," the maid advertises.

"Great just what I need. Marriage advice from a domestic," Wilburn notes.

As they unlock the door to their lavish room, Wilburn carries Tawny to the bed and the two embrace just as Wilburn's back begins to throb. He did something to his back when he lifted Tawny up. Wilburn is too proud to admit his injury so he keeps it to himself.

Wilburn is irritated that everyone assumes his is Tawny's father. As Tawny slips into something more comfortable and something much more revealing, he races to the bathroom. He looks at himself in the mirror.

"Good grief! I look ancient," Wilburn admits as he runs his paws through his thick gray fur. He grabs a telephone book from the end table and goes to the yellow pages. He is searching for a nearby Petco, which is where he used to get groomed before Krista entered his life. No luck. He is determined to get his fur colored tonight! Before Wilburn leaves the room he takes another dose of his liquid vitamins.

"Tawny you relax," Wilburn demands. "I'll be back in a jiffy. When I return we'll grab a bite to eat."

"Sure, darling," Tawny replies.

In Sable's bedroom, she and Basil are basking in the afterglow of their intimate moment. Basil appears to be having a tough time catching his breath.

"Are you okay, Basil?" Sable asks her beau as if she even cares.

"I'm just fine and freaking dandy, Sable. It is just old age," a winded Basil enlightens.

"Do you have any antacids?"

"No I don't."

"I guess that seafood sampler I ate for lunch isn't agreeing with me," Basil confesses.

"Mabel has an excellent concoction to cure heartburn," Sable says as she yells for Mabel.

"Yes, Mrs. Garson?"

"Mr. Mackenzie seems to be suffering from some chronic heartburn. I want you to whip up some of your concoction for him now," Sable orders.

"Sure thing Mrs. Garson," Mabel replies.

Basil sits up in the bed as he puts his paw on his chest!

Over at the courthouse, Mitch places the strawberry flavored ring pop on Josie's ring claw. She admires the edible ring. "This is the nicest piece of jewelry anyone has ever given me," the catnip addict beams. Josie places the ring pop on Mitch's ring claw also.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Mitch kisses Josie passionately. He refuses to stop. He doesn't even want to stop for air. Someone at the courthouse splurges and buys the newlyweds a Tastykake. The coffee cake kind with the frosting in the middle. Mitch opens the cake with his muscular paws. Then the couple breaks off a piece.

"Good grief," a high Josie exclaims. "This is stale as hell. When was the last time someone replaced the junk in that vending machine?"

"Oh, probably earlier this year. Or very late last year. I know it has been awhile," someone at the courthouse elaborates.

Mitch and Josie smash the cake into each others faces. Then they kiss each other and lick the crumbs off of their faces. The fine people at the courthouse didn't have any rice to throw at the married couple. The only thing they could find was a bag of generic brand kitty litter. They throw it as Mitch and Josie race to his Harley Davidson. The motorcycle is parked illegally there is a ticket taped to it. Mitch ignores the ticket as Josie throws it into the air. Heidi and the exhausted justice of peace wave goodbye to the couple as they ride away .

"Keep in touch," Heidi yells. "Send us a postcard from your honeymoon."

Now back inside the courthouse, Heidi has a realization.

"That guy Mitch looks so familiar to me. I don't know how I know him. But I know I know him from somewhere."

Mabel re-enters Sable's room. The heartburn concoction that she just whipped up is in a cup.

"Okay, Mr. Mackenzie, drink this crap. Once you devour this I'll have you feeling better in no time at all."

"What is in this?"

"Well let's see. This concoction contains some sour cream, avocado, salmon, green olives, olive oil, canola oil, baking soda, ground coffee, nutmeg, paprika, oregano, and cream cheese frosting. Now don't stop! Drink all the way through otherwise it will leave an awful taste in your mouth. I am still amazed that the FDA wouldn't accept this when I submitted it to them.

In Tahiti Tawny wakes up from her nap. She is stunned to learn that Wilburn is not back yet. She is starting to worry. She goes down to the front desk and asks the clerk assigned to it if she has seen him. She even shows her a picture of him.

"How old is this picture?"

"Well most likely more than fifty years old. This is his high school senior picture.'

"Good luck trying to find him using that," the clerk laughs.

Wilburn is missing in a strange environment. He wanders the streets. He had his fur colored but now he can't seem to remember the way back to his hotel. There is no one around to ask for directions. He enters a hotel and bangs on the door to a room. Demanding to be left in. This is of course the wrong room in the wrong hotel with the wrong lady inside the room.

"Tawny let me in please," Wilburn pleads.

"TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF THE ONGOING SAGA OF ALL MY KITTENS"