ALL MY KITTENS

As it appears that the Garson's family private jet is about to crash into a large body of water, Tawny panics and blurts out some shocking news to Wilburn!

"I'm pregnant! I'm having your baby," Tawny cries.

"Who are you? What baby are you talking about? Shouldn't you be sharing this news with your husband? Why do you think I even care? a very confused Wilburn asks.

Before Tawny can utter another word, Hank, the family's elderly pilot delivers some soothing news.

"Attention to Mr. Garson and his knocked up mistress, false crashing alarm. It was an easy mistake. The pages of chapter nine and ten stuck together.," Hank explains as he feasts on more sticky foods, which caused the problem in the first place.

While Tawny is thrilled that she will not perish in a crash, she is still quite concerned about Wilburn's delicate mental state.

Back in Hidden Valley, Alec and Laurel walk into the stately Garson mansion. Sable is reading the newspaper. To relieve some stress, Sable is drawing funny things all over Tawny's face. She wishes that the editor-in-chief of The Hidden Valley Times would wise up and remove her trashy column from the publication. A headline in the business section catches Sable's eye. The headline reads, "Parent Company puts The Hidden Valley Times up for Sale."

Sable wants to acquire the newspaper. First she needs to gain control of Garson Industries. She feels fairly confidant that she will soon be at the helm. Especially when she convinces the board to oust Wilburn because he is senile.

Alec and Laurel talk to Sable about the uncertain future of the free clinic. Sable doesn't care about the clinic at all.

"Alec, my son," Sable says. "I can't understand why you are all upset over this stupid clinic. It is not like we need it. We are the Garsons. And the Garsons have access to the best veterinarians and to any medical procedure that we would ever need."

"Medical procedures like your fur lifts, your tummy tucks, and your Botox? Did I name all of your recent elective surgical procedures? Good grief, Mother, you belong in some kind of a wax museum."

"How dare you speak like that to me? I am your mother! And you will show me some respect. Do I make myself clear?"

"Whatever Mother," Alec screams. "There are times that I wish you would have put me up for adoption. Or had an abortion," Alec confesses as he and Laurel storm out of the parlor and make their way upstairs to his bedroom.

As the two medical professionals go up the spiral staircase, Mabel makes her way into the parlor. Basil Mackenzie is with her.

"Did I just walk into the dog and cat war of 1958?"

"No just a heated conversation with my son Alec. You know something, Basil? I wish I knew where I went wrong as a mother. Lord knows I tried to raise Alec and Josie right. I tried to teach them to be snooty elitists. And now all Alec cares about is to help save that clinic to benefit those poor cats. I wish that you could banish all of those poor cats from Hidden Valley."

"Now, Sable, darling calm yourself," Basil urges as he pours her a glass of iced tea with extra sugar added to it. "Now this should help to calm those nerves.

Back on the jet, Tawny attempts to assist Wilburn. She has never seen her lover like this before. And these two have been playing around with each other for eons. Hank announces that the jet is about ready to land.

"Sable, how the hell can you be pregnant. I mean you're gonna see yourself on the covers of one of those trashy tabloid magazines. I can see it now, "Oldest Cat in the World to Have Baby."

"I'm not Sable," Tawny tries to explain.

"Oh, Sable don't tell me that you are developing multiple personalities. Tawny your name is not Tawny it is Sable Garson. Now let's enjoy our second honeymoon okay?"

Tawny is at wits end.

Josie and Mitch are at the night court to get married. The lovers didn't realize that they needed a witness.

"Oops, we didn't know that," Josie says.

"Well sorry, perhaps you should have read all of the fine print," the justice of peace scolds.

"Sorry I don't mean to be rude to you lovebirds, but our coffee machine broke yesterday, and the county won't splurge to buy us a Keurig. I would just go to the local Starbucks, but they cut their hours of operation back after they were robbed by a Grandma Moses impersonator, but don't you taxpayers worry about us without coffee. We shall overcome."

As the justice of peace relates this tragic tale to Mitch, Josie recruits a witness. She recruits a lady who is dressed like a hooker, and who is in her mid-fifties. Their witness is at the night court to file a PFA against her mild mannered husband, after he threatened to do her up bad so that she would end up in a hospital.

"Mitch I would like you to meet Heidi Adams who will be playing the role of witness."

"Heidi it is an evening delight to meet you tonight," Mitch says. "And we thank you for helping us.

As the ceremony begins, Krista sits alone in the living room of her home in the dark. She stares at an old framed picture of her son, Mitch. As she continues to look at it a report comes over the radio saying that a prisoner escaped! And that he may be in Hidden Valley. The report cautions residents that he is armed and dangerous, and if they see him they are urged to contact the authorities right away. Krista decides to pop a VHS tape into her VCR/DVD player. This VHS tape contains episodes of Unsolved Mysteries and America's Most Wanted. These episodes contain segments where Mitch's crimes were dramatized. Krista made tons of copies of these and mailed them to all of her family and friends.

Exhausted after a long day of eavesdropping on conversations at the hospital, Veda sorts through her mail. She opens an envelope containing a notice from The Hidden Valley Public Library, stating that she never returned a book that she borrowed back in 1960. Veda assumes that this is a joke. Someone must be playing with her mind! She rips up the notices and throws it into the garbage. Veda doesn't understand the big mistake she just made by doing this.

Over at the courthouse, the exhausted justice of peace begins to nod off, while Josie and Mitch recite their own vows. And the justice grows frustrated when Mitch can't locate the candy ring pop.

Sable and Basil are lying together in her bed as she runs her claws through his chest fur.

"I figured that this would relax you more than iced tea," Basil says.

"Basil, do you think you could save the free clinic?"

"Nope," Basil replies.

"Well then I tried."

Now at their hotel Wilburn and Tawny notice many of the guests are coughing up a storm. He wonders if they have some type of rare tropical disease.

TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF THE CONTINUING SAGA OF ALL MY KITTENS