A Tail of Two Office Managers

During my day job, I have a human manager. But at night, for my preferred job of Aspiring Author, I have two managers, both of the feline variety. When I adopted Frodo and Pepsi as litter mates, I assumed that I would be the manager of their lives. But I was clearly mistaken, for even as wee babes, they were the ones who were managing me. For hours, they requested my constant facilitation of playtime. This usually involved a wand toy and a tunnel, and they would persist in so far as even dragging the wand to me at all hours of the day and night. Today, this still remains a task that they require daily.

With a bad case of ear mites, it was I who was responsible to report to them twice a day for application of their ear medicine. They quite vehemently protested my action of squeezing ear drops down their ears, yet they did not fire me. In fact, perhaps this was my probationary period to prove I was worthy as their servant. And so for that, I gratefully continue to remain as one of their faithful employees.

Frodo is the Director of Relaxation. Any free lap, any free legs on a bed are fair game for him to enjoy. He cares little whether I am on task or not--he only cares that he can cuddle and enjoy time with me. Very unprofessional if you ask me.

He also is the Director of all Extracurricular or Otherwise Fun Activities. With an eye for detail, he never wastes a good ball or toy. He will go to great lengths to find a misplaced jingle ball behind a bookcase. His greatest quality is as a tenacious self-starter, for he can bat around a jingle ball for hours without the intervention of any human participator. He spends considerable time practicing the Highest Jump, hoping that perhaps one day it will be made an Olympic sport.

Pepsi is the Director of Supervision. I might think that I am alone in peace to write, but alas, I am not. She could be waiting behind a curtain, silently ensuring that I remain at work. Please forgive me for stereotyping, but I’m afraid I must do so. Pepsi is very much a Tortie with Tortitude in spades, always quick to criticize me and vocalize any complaints she may have with me. It is nice to know exactly where I stand with her at any given moment.

However, she is quite vigilant to guarantee that I am never adversely affected by bugs while at work. She will chase down any fly, moth, or any other creature from the Underworld that flies if it dares distract me from my work, even so far as disposing of any bug remains via her stomach. How satisfying to work in such an environment free of any sign of insects! This is one of the top perks of having Pepsi as a boss.

Unfortunately, with these two as my managers, I never get a proper bathroom break. They never allow me to use the restroom by myself. I wish I could complain to a manager above them for my lack of privacy, but sadly there is no one above their authority.

Despite my lack of privacy and the constant demands on my attention, they put in the long hours right alongside me. They stay up until 3 AM and keep me company as I type away. They give me breaks at just the opportune time when I am feeling burned out, jumping up on the desk to rub against my face. Or in Frodo’s case, lick my face and walk along the rail of my chair. They are warm and comforting, and they will always do their best to show that they care and want me to succeed (though perhaps what they really may want are some Friskies treats).

They also do allow me to take off on holidays, which I appreciate. Though, of course, I am still on call for meals, treats, and playtime.

Dear readers, I must apologize and leave you now abruptly. I must return to writing my novel, or I shall hear about it--loudly. I have been spotted by one of my managers, and she demands I return to it. Right after I feed her and Frodo their dinner.