You Are NOT Alone

Have you ever been so deep in what you're going through, you are unable see the way out? Don't worry ---- You are NOT alone.

You are not alone.

We spend a lot of time in our lives thinking we are going through things alone. Humans have a tendency to let weight build up on top of them. This is the heaviness that comes from work stress, relationships, traffic, family issues, illness, and anything else that might be contributing to those horrible little knots in your shoulders and lower back..... and upper back... and anywhere else you might feel the pain.. Sound familiar? It should! We all experience this, in some form.

It can be a major hindrance - one which can even go so far as to prevent us from getting out of bed, for days, weeks, and even MONTHS. And when we let this weight build up on top of us, we tell ourselves it is just us. Maybe we stop talking about it to friends and family, because we feel that they just don't understand. We isolate ourselves and tell ourselves that we are completely alone. This something that has spanned much of my life..... and the biggest thing I have learned is: I AM NOT ALONE

Where does this feeling come from?

In my life, I have been through many different versions of myself, though one thing has always been constant: I felt alone, in whatever I was going through. It didn't matter if I was surrounded by 2 people or 30 people. I've had more friends and acquaintances than I could ever count. I've had incredible experiences with all of these people, yet when it came to the internal conflicts and the personal issues, I convinced myself that I was the only one experiencing them. I believed I was an outcast, and shamed myself for feeling how I felt. Because of this way of thinking, I made myself feel alone.

The shame made the feeling even heavier, and so to counteract this, I sought out "connection" with anyone and everyone I could, so I could fight the feeling of being alone. Here's the problem:

1. I made myself believe I was the only one going through what I was going through, and in turn -
2. I didn't share with anyone what I was feeling, internally
3. By not sharing, all of the external "connections" I was making ended up being filler, distractions, something to take my mind away from my internal experience, rather than addressing the experience at it's root.

The most important thing I have learned to understand, is this: anything I am feeling comes from ME. I am responsible for my feelings. I am responsible for the stress I experience. I am responsible for feeling alone. And I am responsible for changing ANY of these feelings.

The truth of the matter is, I am the only one who has any control over how I act and how I feel. If I feel loneliness, sadness, stress, anxiety, and I do nothing to change it, it's still on me. Now, this doesn't mean it's just as easy as "being positive" and "choosing change," although in reality, it can actually be that easy --- Let's Discuss

Making a Change

Is it easy to make change? Yes! ---Once I understand how to make that choice. The hard part is breaking the patterns I have been in for so long, and learning that the things I am feeling - sadness, stress, loneliness, suffering, etc. - are actually choices I am making every day.

Think of it this way: Whenever I come to a moment that causes me to feel stress I have two ways of approaching that situation. I can either a. feel the stress of it and let it burden me, carry the weight, and allow myself to spiral in the pattern I am used to, or b. choose to rise above the stress and choose another option, let go of the worry, and just take it as it comes. Option b definitely presents a lot less weight on my shoulders. Ultimately, whatever thing is happening is going to happen no matter how I choose to deal with it internally. So, what's the point in choosing to stress and worry about it when I can actually choose something that affects me much less, or which affects me in a much more positive way?

If we can do something about our situation, there is no need to worry. If we can't do anything about our situation, worrying does no good.

So why do I choose to internalize everything so much? Why do I choose not to share with anyone, and in turn, why do I choose to feel ALONE? This is habit, this is a cycle, this is repetition.

Here is something to consider: Let's think about someone who grows up with parents who habitually eat Ice Cream 3 days a week after dinner. Every week, year after year, this person eats Ice Cream as a dessert, and this becomes ingrained in their way of living. It's a pattern, a habit. Years down the road, they're trying to make a lifestyle change, and they find that breaking free from the habit of eating Ice Cream can be a very tough thing to do, as it's routine, it's part of their daily life. The same thing can be said for emotional patterns. It's all the same! Everything we do is something we do out of habit, and is likely something we picked up from our family, or from our close friends as we grew up. So the key is finding and creating habits in our life which serve us in a healthy way, physically and emotionally.

Conclusion

None of us are alone. We are all the same in some ways, and we are all going through something. It's okay for us to talk about it with each other. We are creatures of habit, and together, we can help each other break habits that don't serve us, and bring in habits which build us into the next greatest version of ourselves. These habits can be emotional, spiritual, physical, it doesn't matter.

So the next time I find myself experiencing some kind of stress or anxiety, a feeling of shame or sadness, I will ask myself what choice I am making that's allowing me to feel this way. What habit am I playing out? What can I do to shift it, and discontinue that habit.

We all have a choice, so which choice will we make?

2020 - Jimmy Pearson

IG @jimmypearsonofficial