Why We Need Disconnected Alone Time

I have found that the more time I spend alone, the more comfortable I become with my skin because I can truly identify myself. This gives me more patience to accept myself as I am, wherever I am on my journey, every day.

This lesson is something I learned after spending the summer alone in Italy with a family friend.

I started the trip, turning off my phone for the first time, maybe, always. I was to travel all over America and come to a country with an unknown family.

It wasn't until two years later that I wished I had spent more time in the present while experiencing the greatest adventure of my life. I was not comfortable enough on my skin to be present at the magical moments of exposing myself to the outside world.

My mind kept wandering as I wondered what people thought of me, and what I would send to my friends at home.

At the age of nineteen, it seemed very important to take pictures to post on social media. The Internet was too much for me to handle alone in a strange place. Courageous as I was to be completely alone on my self-sacrificing journey, I had a thousand people to “contact” on my lonely night!

Two years later I realized that I could fill my days with responsibilities.

I wish I could have gone to nearby cities, spent my days studying in a cafe, trying to fix acupuncture — anything unusual.

The fact is, I didn't have the hobbies I have now. This trip has helped me grow, but I regret that I would not have enjoyed the times more than I wanted thousands of others to see that I enjoyed them.

I have found that if I want to be happy, it can be my doing. Happiness is an internal process and comes without the assurance of others.

This is a lesson that should be repeated every day.

Spending a little time alone - without a phone, tablet, laptop, TV and radio - allows one to really listen to us. We need to ask ourselves things like: What is my body telling me today? How do I feel today?

There are all kinds of things we can do to enjoy our time alone, some of them very simple. I enjoy my bath, my yoga practice, and the wonderful drive home, all without contact with the outside world. This helps me to really embrace my habit and become a “I” I find it helpful to write, old-fashioned style, with a pen and paper after this little escape.

To find out if you are relying on others, ask yourself: 'What did I do today that only I could do? Do I need to have my own cell phone? Or can I put it away and just be?

You may also want to ask yourself: Am I taking a picture to remember the event, or to let others see how I spent my hour? Am I updating my social media because I want to, or because I need confirmation of likes and posts in order to be happy?

Finally, ask yourself: 'What would happen if I gave up trying to find the opinions of others so as to find my own happiness? Will the world still accept me if I spend a little time trying to find their acceptance?

The only person who keeps you away from your true personality is you.

Make it a practice to spend an hour a day doing something and keep it a secret. Note that this function is for personal use only.

Once you've tended to spend time alone, you can begin to maximize the time you spend on your "secret" activities. Eventually, your current presence will grow as you stop seeking the recognition and recognition of others.

I find that when I take a break and connect my connections, I am already fully prepared to engage with others with more energy and fun.

When your brain stops worrying about what others think of you, which you should have said or done, you can really listen to your friends and give feedback and attention.

Trust in yourself and feel empowered by taking your happiness into your own hands.