Why We Don’t Always Get What We Want

It could have happened to you. Likely, it has happened many times in your life so far.

You don't understand why it happened. And if it does, it can throw you into deep pits of despair.

Maybe you cry out for supernatural powers to make things better. Perhaps you look into space, wondering what the purpose of life is and why it is so difficult.

I was there. Many times. For all sorts of reasons.

Divorce, job problems, death dealing, financial problems, there are a million things that can put you in this frame of mind.

You know what you want more than anything, but no matter what you do, the universe just doesn't seem to give it to you. Why? Why can't things be easier, simpler? Why can't things get better?

Why can't we get what we want?

A few years ago I was facing the most difficult time of my life. The man I was to marry for four years was separated from me. By phone.

No visits. There is no long talk about how we can find it. He just told me he couldn't do it anymore.

And just like that, I was throwed into that valley.

I spent the next few months searching for answers. I read various religious texts, self-help books, and science books. I prayed, meditated, and tried to imagine what I was really looking for.

I wanted my sweetheart back.

My work suffered in my work, though I was unaware. It took an old friend of mine, one of my bosses, to call me to his office and he had an honest conversation with me to see if I was focused on the churches.

In the evening, I had nightmares about my boyfriend's dreams. In them, we were happy and together. It all worked out.

I just woke up every night sweating and crying. Yes, I woke up crying.

I was raised to believe in supernatural powers. But on those nights of torture, I found myself slapping my pillow and begging him to make everything better.

Nothing has ever been better, though.

Conversations with friends did not bring good advice. As a psychologist, and as a counselor myself, their descriptive words only work to frustrate me.

"There's a reason for everything." "If it had to be that way." “Time heals all wounds.” When I heard more about their cookie lucky advice, I became very angry.

And all the time, I've been begging for higher power to fix everything.

One day at work, I was talking to one of my fellow teachers. He was a huge fan of Native American history and had an interesting perspective on my problem.

He suggested that I start looking for an opinion.

I was doing one of these while studying for a degree as part of my assignment. We had studied the ancient method that the natives used when searching for answers, so I was well versed in the process.

If you do not know what to look for, you can go to a place where you can simply look at the world around you and focus on the thoughts that come as a result.

This time, however, the stakes were much higher than my previous request.

I decided to do it over the weekend and woke up the next Saturday morning with one goal in mind: getting answers.

The former capital of the Cherokee tribe was just twenty minutes from my home, now set aside as a state park. I’ve seen what better place to make a passing view where Native Americans lived?

It was a cold day, and the forests around the historic area were shrouded in mist as I began my trek.

I stopped at various places along the way to meditate and pray. There was one spot near the gentle river where I could see birds and squirrels roaming about in their day, instilling many thoughts and feelings running through my head.

While nature was at peace near me, the storm was still raging in my heart focusing on one question: Why can't I get what I want?

I kept going, writing down all the thoughts and feelings that came to my mind. The minutes turned into hours and, as I approached the fourth hour of my search, I decided it was time to leave. You have nothing

I approached the top of a hill on the edge of the holy land and looked up at the forest canopy. Poplar, oak, and maple leaves hang high above.

"I just want to know why you can't fix this for me," I said aloud, bitterly.

Suddenly, my mind was taken back to the school where I was working to a certain point a few weeks ago with a conversation I had with one of my students. I would go into a computer class to see what everyone was doing that day and they would pay attention to me.

“Wow, can you adjust my grade to this grade so I can pass?”

The question caught me by surprise and I laughed. "Yes, I can do that," I surprised her with my response. As a school counselor, I was able to access those kinds of things.

His face was hopeful. "Can you?"

I went on to explain that I could do that, but I could not.

He asked why.

I told her that it was because if I prepared everything for her, she would never learn anything.

My brain was back at the moment, standing on a forest trail. Awareness struck me in the face as Mike Tyson in his youth.

A smile penetrated my face. Then I started laughing and looked back up at the trees. Strong winds blew, blowing very high branches.

I kept smiling as I circled and stared at the dizzy leaves.

That was it. If someone or something always prepares everything for me, I will never learn anything. Besides, I would never be able to do anything for myself in life. I was always dependent on someone or something to make things better for me.