Why I Was MIA

by Rowan Villa-Howells about a year ago in goals

And Why, Sometimes, That's Necessary

Why I Was MIA

It has been almost three months since I’ve published anything to my blog. And even longer than that since I have made any strides in my health coaching business. And you know what sucks? In those three months, I feel like I didn’t accomplish much. I wasn’t out experiencing the world and going on crazy backpacking trips. I wasn’t working on another project or doing charity work. I simply… got caught up with life. I began working full time at a medical office and then made a pretty big move (California to Colorado) so understandably I became “busy.” But regardless of what my schedule was like, I know that if I really wanted to, I could have fit time in to work on my blog. Needless to say, I got distracted. Any “free time” I had I spent at the gym, meal prepping, and just trying to relax for the work week that was going to hit me before I even realized it.

To get to the point: I was burned out. Between packing and working… and packing some more… and working some more (I was putting in A LOT of overtime), I was slowly losing my spark. It became harder and harder to motivate myself to write something I deemed meaningful or focus on my business. It wasn’t until I was sitting in traffic on my way to work one day, (the 210 freeway headed westbound on a weekday morning allows for plenty of thinking time), that I started to really question what I was doing with my life, that it dawned on me. I remembered a saying that floats through pretty much everyone’s self-love blog: You can’t give from an empty cup. (SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK). I repeat: YOU CAN’T GIVE FROM AN EMPTY CUP. It’s not possible. Try it, and you will find how exhausting it is to constantly run on reserves. That’s when I came to the realization that if I wanted to move forward with writing and coaching, I needed to put a hold on them. Sounds counter intuitive, I know. But it was necessary.

So, essentially, I put them on the back burner. I told myself that I just needed to focus on the next few months ahead me, get to Colorado, and then try to rekindle my motivation later. Which is what I did. I trudged through December, January, and February, not even trying to force a blog post or think about expanding my business. At first I felt guilty. I felt like I was letting down my parents, who paid for my schooling. I felt like I didn’t deserve the title of “Health Coach” or “Blogger/Writer.” How could I? When I was, borderline, avoiding it? My passion had turned into something I couldn’t bare to think about without cringing.

Then about early March, I started to get that itch. That tingling you get in your chest when you feel inspiration starting to creep up on you. It wasn’t very strong, but it was there. And I knew that once I balanced my scheduled out again, that tingle would ignite a new spark in me. I just had to be patient. As my move to Colorado approached, and I could see a light at the end of this stressful, work-filled tunnel, I began to feel more inclined to stretch my creative muscle. And here I am! A bit late to the motivation party, but still rockin’ to the music. While not every day is filled with mind-blowing ideas, I’m starting to get my momentum back. I’m beginning to feel that same drive I felt when I first graduated. And it feels so refreshing!

That’s when I had another realization (I know, this story is full of ‘em). I realized that sometimes you need to step away from the things that you want to move forward with to keep from burning out. If it’s something that you really feel a calling for, the motivation will come back. And sometimes, the motivation will ebb and flow! Some days you may have a fire that could power the world, and other days you will only have enough to light a single match. The most important thing is that you are aware of these phases and act accordingly. Don’t be afraid to take a break. That’s how you protect, and control, your flame.

Rowan Villa-Howells
Rowan Villa-Howells
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Rowan Villa-Howells

Health coach and lover of words. :)

Health coach Instagram: @WellnessByRowan

Personal Instagram: @_miss_rowan

See all posts by Rowan Villa-Howells