Why I think I might like Writing.

Confusing Title right? If I didn’t like writing, I wouldn’t be writing this would I? I like writing, yes, but it’s something that isn’t easy for me. I’m the type of person who tries their best to keep their thoughts to themselves. That includes a lot of second-guessing as well. For example, I had an English assignment that said that I had to write a short fantasy story with all the things I learned in the story. I was against the idea of writing because I was lazy but somewhere in the back of my mind, I wanted to. I was afraid my mom might think I was weird, writing something that was so hidden in the back of my mind, something that I never showed to anyone except myself. I think throughout my entire life I have always been inside my head and nowhere else. I would create stories and characters in my mind. Some I thought were okay, and some I thought were so embarrassing that I couldn’t possibly write it out. But I ended up writing one of my fantasies out for the first time, all because of an English assignment.

The story I wrote was a success, apparently. My mom loved it, my teacher thought it was great, and my brother who was also doing the same assignment thought it was good too. One problem though, I had written my story, and all of a sudden I felt and wanted to write all of the stories that were stuck in my head. So I did, I've written in at least 3 - 4 notebooks so far (Not so impressive as I write it out though haha).

So you might be thinking, ‘why do you seem so on the fence about writing?’ The answer is a couple of answers. One, the fake pressure that I make for myself. About four days ago, I wrote, edited, and posted a story for a Vocal Challenge all in one day. Throughout those days, I kept thinking that I had to make more and more and more. Just yesterday I tried writing something that I came up with on the fly to post but ended up scraping the story because I wasn’t into it. I really liked the story I posted four days ago so much that I thought (and still think) that I needed to post something even greater than the last. I’m not sure why I think this way but, unfortunately, I do.

Two, my mom. My mom isn’t some Disney Villian or anything, she’s far from it, really. But, like the fake pressure that I made, I guess I forced myself to think that my mom was trying to force me to write. Which is, again, far from the truth. She’s constantly telling and reassuring me that I can write because I want to, not because I have to start making a profit and become some famous writer or anything. As I write this, I’m starting to see that I might have some major problems haha. But if I’ve learned anything remotely good from my mom is that it’s okay to be weird. I can do whatever I want too! (As long as it’s legal haha. Sorry, bad joke.)

Anyway, That’s why I think I like writing. After this, I’ll probably think about making more or drastically changing things in my other stories. Actually, I kinda don’t even want to post this. Not only does my mom have to see it to edit it, but Some random guy also has to approve it before really publishing it. (Hi random guy.)

I guess I have to come up with the moral of the story, right? The moral of the story is don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t think your mom or your loved ones will want to use you for their own gain. Go to therapy or something. Okay, that’s a lot of morals. But that’s okay cause they're all good! I think?