Why I Love People, but Also My Solitude

Warning: Major game-related spoiler.

Despite all the harm we have the potential to cause, humans never cease to fascinate me. Even though I've been around them all my life, how we're capable of creating what are essentially extensions of our ideas and emotions will always remain an enticing mystery to me.

But even that journey to the beautiful mind of another can take its toll on me after a while. As an ambivert, I need to recall my personal sense of self more often than not. Too many times in my life I've relied on others for my happiness and inspiration, instead of taking a moment or many to develop these processes on my own at some point.

Fans of Final Fantasy IX (2000) will remember what Vivi Ornitier's last words to Zidane Tribal were, when he talked about how figuring out what to do when you're left alone is not something that can be taught by someone else, but rather discovered for yourself. I wholeheartedly share his sentiments; inasmuch as we are social beings, we actually spend most of our lives—especially isolated segments of everyday life—in solitude, no matter how many people may be around us at any given time. It's up to us to decide how to feel about that.

At no point can we expect anyone to consistently be there for us when we need them—chances are, they have their own mountain to climb. We must come to terms with the reality that the greatest care that can be confidently prioritized is the one we should be feeling for ourselves.

And that is why I prefer to appreciate every moment in my life for what it is and take from it what I will, regardless of whether it is a positive or negative experience. I choose not to be too hopeful and instead look forward to any possibility that will follow, as everything is an opportunity for never ending growth and personal values development.

I will admit there are points where I opt to keep my distance so as not to allow anyone to disappoint or hurt me, but I nevertheless acknowledge that doing so isn't always the right answer. It's a test of character to see past all what could be nothing more than our insecurities and set out to accomplish whatever goal we have in mind anyway. If we don't grant ourselves the opportunity, we are left with nothing but "what ifs" and agonizing emotions. Besides, it's easier to learn from pain caused by others than self-inflicted pain, because we'll gain a sense of what we want and need when it's time to reflect and self-heal.

Use your solitude to determine what makes you happy and to give your heart a break every once in a while. Don't completely spend it on unnecessary feelings of confusion, anger, and frustration toward those people you thought were perfect. Nobody will ever live up to astronomically high expectations, and that shouldn't be news to you.

Save that look of surprise instead for the amazing feats you do you never thought you were capable of before. One of those things is appreciating the little favours others do for you, thus recognizing that the world can be a great place to live in without that being based on whether other people's behaviour is always and necessarily going to be predictable.

After each of your self-sorting sessions, you'll be able to realistically do what you feel is right for others, and perhaps even galvanize them into developing their own happiness and inspiration. Isn't coming full circle such a wonderful little journey?