What You’re Made Of

You’ve been through a lot lately, probably more than most. Life has been difficult for you and you just can’t seem to get yourself out of bed as you have little energy or desire to progress or succeed. You feel lost and alone in a world that seems uncaring. No one could ever love you and you definitely have excessive emotional baggage and pain. Since your divorce, you have become depressed, irritable me and have ceased hope. More often than not, you wonder who could ever love you the way that you are. There are also those times of peril when you worry about others so much that you have lost sight of taking care of yourself, and when you try, you feel selfish and you start to store many unintentional resentments toward the people you love the most. You don’t remember what your'e made of as you are are extremely self-critical to the point that you have lost the desire to exist and you just can’t discover your divine purpose. You’re bitter and angry and have a difficult time trusting or letting anyone “in” or letting anything go. You’ve lost faith and have become apathetic and pessimistic. You lost hope.

If this describes you at all, please continue to read this story because it is time to assess what’s important to you in your life and how to “start from scratch again,” so that you feel valuable and useful again. Now, Putting aside the pandemic and all of the stress, confusion, isolation and fear we went through, take some time to think about elements or experiences that have challenged you to live the life of a victim? How long has this gone on? Too long I imagine. Have you, in a way, lost touch with reality? Do you no longer seek reciprocity when it comes to respect or love? What has created this fear in you and when did you stop living your very best life or when did you stop caring about yourself? There are many different factors that could have pushed you into a direction of self-destruction, such as, you don’t not feel sexually attractive, being single past 40 for no particular reason, getting older, losing your hair your ability to hear or see may have been challenged, you get diagnosed with diabetes, you start smoking or start drinking too much, too often, and the list goes on and on.

Today, you can you put a stop to the internalization of personal failure, or self-distructive behavior, so you can one day have the success you deserve and maybe someday you can find real happiness and regain the spirit for yourself that you lost along the way.

You have to start from square one and put a strong foot on the accelerator. This is an opportunity for you to start over. You have to identify the elements of your life that are causing the most pain and find ways to avoid them, or let them go, so that they are no longer a hindrance to your personal growth and your life. And the road is not an easy one to travel as it is challenging and it’s difficult because it makes you take a good look at yourself and it pushes you to become even more self-critical (like most of you are already doing) and eventually you learn to be honest with yourself. Eventually, it will become a humbling experience, I promise.

Loving who you are and all of your trials and errors, all of your bad choices and those mistakes you wish you had never made, all of this life “baggage” is important to keep with you. It is all of these elements, both positive and negative, that helped make the wonderful person you are today.

You are exactly where you are supposed to be in life. We all have a purpose and we all have a personal journey different from one another. We all go through self-discovery; we all have been hurt and on the flip side, we all have experienced joy experiences that we cherish. These bits and pieces are what make us divine and unique, heck, they are what makes us human.

You have neglected your wants and needs somewhere along the way and you may feel that you have lost the battle. Maybe you lost the desire to live a great life because you were dealt a crappy hand of cards. Or maybe you just stopped caring about what should be the most important element of your life—YOU. So you lost sight of your dreams because you don’t feel like you are worth the fight or effort, right? Wrong, very wrong.

In an attempt to help you gain a better perspective and positive self-awareness, you just have to have the passion or desire and have the capacity to change your behavior and way of thinking about you and your significance in the Universe. The following are some helpful steps that can help you regain what has been lost after you’ve internalized failure for too long:

1. Remember What You’re Made Of

It is critical to remember that strong person in your past, you know the one in the reflection, and the person you invented and molded. You know that person quite well; the wonderful individual you are and will always be. You must avoid dwelling in the past. You must attempt to forgive others for hurting you or doing you wrong; and while you’re at it, go ahead and forgive yourself too. Remember your victories and your strengths and keep those memories alive and well within your spirit. Let go of resentments because they cause the most damage and prevent progress.

2. Strengthen Your Character

Discover different ways to strengthen your character, in other words, who you are and what you bring to the table. Focus on building your natural abilities and unique qualities and talents; reconcile with yourself. Be inquisitive and ask yourself “who do I want to be,” or, “how can I live my very best life?”Avoid toxic relationships or activities that have any negativity attached to them. Be around people who elevate you. Seek positivity and send these vibes into the Universe by giving all of us a little piece of you and your sunshine. Avoid people who are toxic or cannot align with your aspirations. Think about you first and you always, from here on out!

3. Self-Reflect Daily

In order to become a stronger person who honestly loves the man or woman you have become, you must be introspective and transparent. You must have time to collect your thoughts and start learning about yourself and who you are before you can be useful to others. At the end of your day, let go of all that unnecessary, residual energy that really no longer matters. Get a good night’s sleep every single night and make it a priority or s non-negotiable. Take a few minutes every day and think about your goals and revel in those successes. Learn from your defeats. Don’t be so hard on yourself when you fail or have difficulty living on life’s terms-because losing or failing sometimes and making bad choices or mistakes have to to happen to all of us! And you know what? They will happen again. Learn from them, but move forward. Know how to handle problems that arise a little better every time. Practice makes perfect.

4. Keep a Personal Journal

There is nothing better than having a record of progress. Keep a non-formal journal that has ideas, notes, experiences, etc., that have led you to want positive change in your life. Once you have aligned these with your short and long-term goals, your life will feel more content and complete. Having a reference to remind you of what progress you have made along the way can help in reaffirming your love for yourself and will help make you gain invaluable insight into your challenges and successes. Now you’re ready for a new way of thinking.

5. Avoid Self-Sabotage

Yes, you are human and you want to do better and have a better life. There is no place for the evil monster of sabotage to reside. The rent is too high. Avoid negativity at all costs as people tend to internalize things and they stuff their feelings and they store resentments and then what typically happens? Either a complete blow-up and not just any explosion, but one that hurts everyone involved. Discover new and more effective ways to handle your frustration and practice ways that you can stop having resentments in the first place. Be honest and straight-forward with people even if it hurts their feelings. Find ways that can add value to your life and never allow others to take your thunder or power from you. It is your life; take ownership and accountability without allowing negative forces to infiltrate your way of living or that hurt your chances of positive changes within you. You must love who you are and what you’ve been through in order to ignite the spark that loves you first and does it without any rules to follow. If you are not introspective and proactive, you may find it difficult to ever get out of the rut and damage you’re in and you could unintentionally hurt, or possibly ruin, the relationships and connections that already exist permanently.

6. Live Day-to-Day

Instead of always focusing on what lies ahead (and this doesn’t mean that you should avoid planning for your future or forget your important or already established goals) tomorrow or the next day, start living for right now. Participate in your life in this very moment. Quit worrying about everything because when you do, you can start living your very best life without fear and without boundaries.

Life is precious; it’s challenging and difficult at times, but other times it is remarkably perfect. We want a good life, and we want to realize our dreams and have memories to cherish; we want to fall in love with it again and have those butterflies in our stomach. And we have fought for it many times. Don’t ever stop fighting for it. It is fragile and precious, but it’s worth it, isn’t it? Avoid the worry and the stress of having a life of utopia. If your goal is to have a life that is perfect and there is an absence of challenges or difficulties, you will always be disappointed. Set the bar high but be realistic. Don’t set goals you don’t intend to work for and don’t make resolutions you have no intention to keep because when you fail or falter, you digress. Keep your mind on one obtainable goal—loving yourself and loving your experiences, both the good and bad.

Life will always be full obstacles and sometimes it is grandiose and other times it’s not. Challenge yourself to live for the day and be grateful for the opportunity to live another day as many won’t. Love yourself both inside and out. Always remember your significance. Be a champion today by being present and actively participating in your life.

The goal is highly ambitious; some may not be able to love the person they are, but you will. We have flaws. Stop focusing on what everyone else wants and think about what you want and what you must do to live your very best life. Shift your reality. Attempt to find a connection with the person from your past and the person in the present. Form an alliance. Embrace change and learn how to self- nurture. Care about you for a change. Attempt to elevate yourself and to create positivity in your life. Fall deeply in love with the person you look at every single day. Feel all of the feelings and understand how special you are. You are imperfectly imperfect.

You know what is good for you! You owe it to yourself to try. You deserve it. You deserve love in your life. You’re worth the fight. Put forth the effort and fortitude to do your best and to be your best every single day on your journey. Ensure a full and unadulterated life full of the best element you can ever offer yourself—the gift of love for the one person in your life that is the most valuable—you.