What You Do For Self-Care

I used to see self-care as a selfish act. I'd always been taught that putting yourself first is bad; you should be putting other people and things before your own well-being and happiness. You should be taking care of everyone else's needs and wants before your own.

People may even claim that you're not a good person, you're selfish, if you place your own needs and desires before others.

That's how it used to be for me. I saw self-care as something that needed to be done in secret, if at all. I'd read articles like this one and think, "Wow! I should do these things... if it weren't for other people."

If I was at home by myself, I could do something nice for myself, but as soon as someone else came over or called me up to go out, I had to stop doing whatever-it-was. Once they left, it was hard enough to get back into the habit of "treating myself" again.

Since then, I've realized that self-care isn't just a way to relax and unwind after a hard day for me; it's also about setting an example as someone who is worth caring for. And if we don't start practicing good self-care habits now, we're not going to be able to care for others.

Self-care is that important. And if you're anything like me, it might be hard to convince yourself of that importance initially because you've spent so much time convincing yourself of the opposite; self-care is selfish.

If you wish to learn more about my work, please visit my website and gender neutral fashion brand and gender neutral shoes or follow my Instagram.

But it's not. Self-care isn't selfish at all, and here's why:

Self-care is not selfish because you're doing something for yourself.

Doing things for someone else doesn't always mean that they are getting what they want, but you still do it to make them happy or fulfill their needs. For example, say your partner has a big presentation at work coming up and is very stressed about it. You help them prepare dinner and go over their presentation with them so they can relax. You're doing something nice for your partner, but you aren't actually fulfilling what they want and need - which is to be able to do the presentation themselves and succeed.

This example also ties in to self-care: if we don't care for ourselves first, we'll be too stressed, burnt out, and overwhelmed to help anyone else. We can't give what we don't have.

Self-care is not selfish because you deserve it.

You deserve to be happy, healthy, and stress-free just as much as the people around you do. So if taking care of yourself will improve your life and the lives of those around you, then why is it selfish?

Self-care is not selfish because your health depends on it.

If we don't feed ourselves every day, we'll get sick. If we don't drink enough water, we'll get headaches and feel tired all the time. If we don't exercise or get out of the house, we'll get depressed. If we don't sleep enough or have time to relax, our stress levels will stay through the roof.

You may not be able to see it while you're doing it, but self-care is something that affects your physical health and well-being just as much if not more than helping a loved one does.

Self-care is not selfish because you're being proactive.

Taking care of ourselves isn't just about taking a bubble bath or going on a walk when we feel stressed or burnt out; it's about thinking proactively and doing something to reduce stress before it even happens. Self-care doesn't have to be expensive or time-consuming, but it can make a significant difference in our lives.

The more often we practice self-care and the better we get at it, the less likely we are to neglect ourselves when things start getting stressful around us.

Self-care isn't selfish because you're showing that you care.