We're Not Getting Any Younger
Getting Rid of 'One Day' and Being Yourself
Part 1: Get rid of 'one day.'
Life isn't forever, despite our naive, blissful belief otherwise. We're not getting any younger.
Scary, I know.
The 'one day' and the 'maybe some day' comments may arguably be one of the greatest sources of deceit I've ever found as they make you believe that 'one day' your dreams will just magically come true without you having to do anything to make it happen; that 'maybe some day' your dream life will find you as you knew it always would.
News flash: It won't. Your life will flash before your eyes and you'll realize you never accomplished all the things you wanted because you thought life owed it to you to just drop you off on the doorstep of your ideal life. Life is short. 'Someday' will forever be out of reach if you don't stamp a timeline down and stick to it. (And that's saying a lot for someone who refuses to plan out anything.)
If you want to make something happen, you're going to have to get out there and fight for it. Plain and simple. Get that 'one day' 'someday' passive vocabulary out of your mind. I promise it will get you nowhere.
But you may ask, even if we decide to take control and make plans to reach our greatest goal in life, how are we supposed to know what to do, where to do it, who to do it with and really live out our 'purpose' all the while?
Oh, the myriad of questions that have haunted me since the moment I emerged into the realm of critical thinking.
Part 2: Don't be deceived.
I'm twenty four years old. I still feel like I'm seventeen. The other day I said that out loud and as I quickly did that math, I realized that if my heart really believes I'm still seventeen, I'm about seven years off track from reality. SEVEN. YEARS.
I freaked out a little bit.
I don't have seven years to lose when I'm only guaranteed like, 80. If that.
Don't be seven years deceived. You won't be happy when reality hits and you're seven years mentally and emotionally behind where you should be.
When you're seventeen, you can make mistakes. You can mess up, be dumb, try a million different hobbies and sports, eat whatever you want, date someone who is the total opposite of someone you'd end up with and nobody judges you for it, for any of it. Then, when you head off to college or decide to move across the country, get a tattoo and join a band, you can leave it all behind and start a new life.
Who can attest to the fact that that you can't really get away with that at 24, 35, 43, 55?! Me. I can.
Now, starting over is absolutely more ideal at twenty four than in your late thirties and forties and so forth—I agree with that—but speaking as a mid-twenty year old myself who would like to be married and have my own business and hold a great group of friends to travel the globe with and be a thriving creative and be somewhat financially stable and have some sort of massive impact on the world in some way shape and form, it's not ideal. Not ideal at all.
To plant roots or to spread your wings? Another question that gets me ALL THE TIME.
Part 3: Figure it out.
Having your life figured out seems to be expected among adults. Why? I have no idea. But it is, and I'm not convinced quite yet that anyone has it figured out. (Some are just seriously better at hiding it than others.)
My transition into adulthood has been less than smooth, let me assure you. I have fallen more times than I'm proud of, switched from one job to another, dated, broke up, dated, broke up, and dated. I also recently just realized that some of the things that once bought me so much joy are no longer so; I want to hit retirement at twenty five and I'm only two years into this working a corporate job thing, and I still feel like I have nothing figured out.
Surely this is normal, right?
Yes, it is. Let me assure you. Give yourself a little grace and work hard to find freedom in 'figuring it out'. You can't mess up at life—remember that.
Part 4: Be you, unapologetically.
For the free-spirited, seventeen-year-old-at-hearts like me, it's normal. I don't believe we have to have it figured out. I don't think we will ever really know what to do, where to do it, who to do it with. We figure it out as we go and we do our best along the way.
Life comes with no roadmaps. It also comes with no pause button on time. You must pave your own road, spend as little or as much time as it takes as you figure it out and choose to find some sense of freedom in that.
With that being said, I will take the opportunity to say that there is only one thing you can mess up if you don't commit to doing it right, and that is being yourself.
We each have purpose. We each have a calling. We each were created for greatness. We each have a road to travel along. Friends and love may join at different points in our journey, they also may take an early exit and leave you to walk the road alone for a while. But the most important part of journeying through this life is being authentically YOU, consistently. Being you is the one and only thing nobody else can be in this world. You don't have to have it all figured out to be yourself.
For me, figuring it out has been hard. But along the way I've consistently asked myself questions that direct me back to myself.
Part 5: Ask Yourself This
1. What keeps you anchored in life?
Give that your full attention every single day before anything else.
2. What are you naturally good at?
Spend time refining it.
3. What makes you feel safe?
Return to it often.
4. Where's your heart drawn in this life?
5. Who sparks a fire in your soul?
Tell them. Choose them.
6. What inspires you most?
Give it your full attention.
7. What can't you get out of your mind?
Pray on it. Meditate on it.
8. Who can you not imagine your life without?
Tell them. Let them in. Keep them close.
9. What kind of life do you want to live?
Fight for it.
10. Who do you want to be?
Be that person. Unapologetically.
Oh, my wandering souls. How much there is to learn and we've yet to understand. My prayer is that you know that you're not alone in your journeying and in your wandering- You're on a path that is unique to you and that's beautifully done so on purpose. Never be afraid to look inward, be courageous to ask for help when you need it, and work to find joy in the uncertainty and happiness in the things that are certain in this life. You're doing great. Keep going, keep your head up, you got this.
All my love,