We Are Responsible for our Actions

We blame how captivating certain ads are to the point that we feel manipulated in buying something that later we realise we do not need. We blame the snacks industry for making their products so delicious that we cannot resist. We blame sales for entering a shop to buy a pair of shoes and coming out with two pairs, a pair of trousers and a couple of shirts. We blame the cigarette industry for out depends on nicotine, even though there are warning labels about the consequences of cigarette consumption on our health, often including repulsive images of consumed lungs. And even with the warning we still smoke, maybe because the effects seem so far away, like watching someone else’s drama on TV. The threat looks remote. In other words, it’s always the fault of some abstract and undefined force that does not always have a face. But if we know that cigarettes kill; that ads are captivating; that snacks are sugary and make us overweight; that sales are meant to make us buy more than what we need: if we know all of this, why do we keep making the same mistakes and falling in the same traps? If we are aware of the traps, why do we behave like idiots?

The Stoics idea that there are things in life we can control and things in life we cannot can help us envision an answer. We cannot control what the ads, snacks or cigarette industries do. Yes, they are in the business of tricking us because they are a business. They are not there to help us: they are there to make money. Nicotine and sugar and beautiful ads work on our dopamine. When we see a chocolate bar we have a rush, an expectation to be satisfied because we know that that tastes like, we have tried it before and it was oh so good! So we buy the chocolate bar with its attractive packaging. All of this happens at a level we are not conscious of, so we do not exactly decide to crave for that chocolate. And yet, this does still not make us innocent, as we will presently see. So I open the packaging, I unconsciously remember the feeling of that opening, the promise of what I am going to get. Without realising, I have taken the first bite, and the promise is fulfilled; it is delicious. Without realising, I have already finished the chocolate, the second bite didn’t add anything to the first, I don’t even remember it. I only know I want another one, I want to try again that first bite. I know that tomorrow morning I’ll look at myself in the mirror or I’ll check my weight on the scale and I will be disappointed: why did I eat three chocolate bars last night? Why couldn’t I say no? Is it because tomorrow sounded so far away and without consequences? Is it the fault of the snacks industry for all the sugars and additives? Is it the dopamine’s fault and my bloody subconscious? So I am to blame, but only partially, because I don’t know what I was thinking, because actually I wasn’t thinking? So it is in a way my fault because I was an idiot: I wasn’t thinking.

What our unconscious thinks is not immediately controllable. We do not decide our thoughts or our desires. We never did and never will. Who in their right mind would decide to have stressful thoughts? However, acting upon our desires can be controlled. If we stop and think, no one forced us to buy that chocolate bar or that pack of cigarettes. The Stoics wanted us to follow our nature and human nature according to the Stoics is based on our rationality. Why don’t we reason them when we have a craving? Because most of our lives we live on autopilot. This is our fault. This is where meditation comes in, be in Stoic or Buddhist or any other form of meditative discipline that makes us stop and think or stop and detach from our cravings. Wait a second, I know I am trying to eat healthy. Wait a second, I know that that chocolate bar is not healthy. Wait a second: do I need that chocolate bar to be happy and at peace or do I need it to be happy and at peace? Dopamine has nothing to do with happiness (oxytocin has got more to do with it), it is part of a reward system. It is based on craving and wanting more. One chocolate may be enough today, but tomorrow I’ll want two or three or 10. It is the same mechanism that makes drugs such as cocaine so addictive. Who is at fault for our addictions? Can we blame nicotine, dopamine and the various industries? We do have a brain, we have reason, why don’t we use it? What we eat, buy or do is under our individual control. It does take effort, but let’s stop with this blame culture: our actions are under our control. We are responsible for them.