Using The Law of Attraction as an Abuse Survivor

If you’ve read anything about the Law of Attraction, the theory that like attracts like, then you've got the basic idea. The belief is that we can manifest a change of luck by feeling the vibe of what we want.

As a grown up child of abusive parents, I wondered for the longest time why changing my vibe feels so damn hard.

Maybe it’s hard for most people. But speaking from experience, I know that abuse survivors like me often struggle with feeling… I’m talking about feeling anything in general.

I tend to numb out when under stress. It’s a coping mechanism. I spend an awful lot of time lost in my dreams and memories, and not really in my body at all.

As abuse survivors, our problem isn't with belief. Our problem is with feeling.

Many of us abuse survivors go through life with a side order of idiopathic pain (commonly fibromyalgia or migraine). So our bodies are a painful place to be.

This presents a significant block to manifestation that I felt the call to address. I’m hoping that by writing this out I can start getting out of my own way, and help you to do the same.

The bigger picture

First, before we embark on a mission to get back into our bodies and dare to feel, we need to be sure it is worth it.

The last time I inhabited my earthbound form 100% of the time was in childhood – and that didn’t go so well.

So let’s consider the evidence.

Have you ever manifested anything successfully? Maybe a job you really needed, or a new friend or partner? Most people need to experience something like this themselves before they can really believe it.

Fortunately, I’ve managed to manifest quite a lot of luck and opportunity for myself over the years. But it comes only occasionally and I’d like to increase the frequency.

Lately I’ve had some bad luck and I want to turn that around. So I know in order to create more opportunities for income (my main focus since COVID-19), I need to stop fighting with myself. I need to begin behaving like I’m about to land my dream opportunity.

As like attracts like, I need to feel employable and welcome in opportunities, rather than scare them off with my miserable fear of scarcity.

Easier said than done, of course.

Getting in to my body

Of course, as I alluded to above, in order to feel the vibration of what I want, I first need to be willing to feel, period.

This is the greatest challenge for me, as it is to many abuse survivors.

We all learned early in life, when our brains were still forming their fundamental truths about the world, that feeling wasn’t worth it. As kids we disconnected from our battered shells and drifted off to our happy place.

As an adult I can still often be found hiding in my happy place when trouble calls.

But living disconnected from our pain is a short term solution. The drama back on earth doesn’t get resolved while we are refusing to feel and pressing on with a fake smile.

Being brave

So I believe that the Law of Attraction for Abuse Survivors is just a little different. That difference is a couple of additional steps that come before the part about feeling the vibe of what you want to attract.

Step 1:

First thing is first. If you haven’t yet got the hang of being in your body then don’t just force yourself in there. A very wise person told me this, and I’ve always taken her advice.

Getting into an abused and painful body is like stepping into a freezing cold and rapid river. The current is strong and it will take your breath away!

Get in slowly, with the help of a counselor or therapist if that feels right for you. Breathe, and have a metaphorical safety rope or life jacket – in other words, have a quick way to rescue yourself if you need it.

Step 2:

Ground yourself and find your feet.

When astronauts come back from space they don’t just touch down and go immediately back to life as normal. There is an adjustment period.

While your physical muscles may not have atrophied, I’d bet my last buck that your emotional muscles have.

Take your time with this part. Feel things out slowly. Have a laugh, have a cry, and allow yourself to settle into feeling your feelings again.

If you are anything like me then this won’t be a one-time procedure. It is so much my default setting to drift away from my body, that I have to reintegrate myself all the time.

For example, sometimes I find myself watching a really sad film and feeling nothing. Not one tear in my eye. This is when I realize I’ve numbed out again, and I need to start my return journey to earth.

Although we can feel very safe up and away on our personal cloud, it’s not where we want to stay. Up there we miss all life, and we miss all the opportunities to manifest what we want. Life literally passes us by.

Step 3:

Now it’s time to try manifesting.

Once you are able to inhabit your body and feel again safely, you can do the work to feel the vibration of what you want to attract.

Visualising a clear image of what you want doesn’t work for everybody. But there are other ways to embody the right vibration. You can change your state to a positive one by doing the things you love that bring that flow state.

Spend time with friends, or in nature, or writing, or singing (extra points I believe, as your vocal cords literally vibrate). Or do whatever puts you in the right emotional state.

Then while you are there, feeling positivity and possibility, tell yourself a story about having what you want.

Focus on that sound, feeling or vision, whatever it is for you. Keep it going for as long as you can.

I’m no spiritual guru, but I do know that you can think and feel your way forward in life. I’ve been doing it ever since I escaped my abusers.

It would be such a shame for the abuse you suffered to hold you back. So don’t let it keep stopping you live for years after you’ve left your abuser behind. That’s pretty much what staying numb does to us – it stops us from truly moving on.

We each have more power and potential than we know, and in part at least, that’s because abuse trains us to stay small. Try trusting yourself and embracing a little more positivity, a little more hope. At the end of the day, the better you feel, the better things you will bring into your life.

If this was helpful to you, and if you feel so inclined, you can send me a small tip below to help support my writing.