True Freedom in Structure

Do you have things constantly yapping around your head, begging for your attention? “Ohh, I NEED to do blank by blank but ALSO I’ve been wanting to do X this month and I never get the time, and I know I want to make more time for family, and I wanted to plan this trip, learn this new skill, work at changing jobs, etc etc ETC."

With so much crowding your head, it’s no wonder you feel overwhelmed and stressed out, getting by on survival mode, getting everything done but feeling at the same time like you’re only doing the bare minimum in any one category while neglecting other things you only ‘want’ and don’t ‘absolutely need’.

Lots of times, things fall by the wayside if they’re not related to what we do for money. I can't count the times I would promise myself to spend time on my true passions *another* day. (Ever notice how “someday” never comes? Weird, that.) I have tried and failed to engage myself with planner after planner, method after method. I love to plan, but when it comes to execution, I tend to fizzle out because of how much effort I put into making my plans and planners ‘pretty.’ I'd put so much time into the planning process I'd be burnt out when it came time to actually do the work. When I finally (unexpectedly) quit my job in the time of COVID I knew I had to get serious. But how?

THE BASIC PREMISE

It just so happened that at the time, one of my favorite authors of all time, V.E. Schwab, had a book coming out in October. I had been following her posts on Instagram closely, and I noticed that she was doing a method of organization I’d never seen before - a simple graph format with activities written in vertically, days of the month horizontally. It looked little something like this:

In her Instagram story, she explained a little about how she operated this system. Each category had a different goal for shading in, sort of like a key. Usually she’d have an instinctual feel whether the effort she put in was enough to fill in the box.

Which brings me to timing. I knew I’d be setting myself up for failure by trying to do everything every day. Her goal wasn’t- and my goal probably shouldn’t be- a full black graph. Besides, that doesn’t look as nice.

So what were my personal requirements for filling in a box? It was important to get straight on that. For example, ‘writing’ might be filled in after I’ve completed a half hour at least of the activity that day.

Obviously, even on your list of priorities, some things will take precedence over others, so arrange to do them more frequently throughout the week. For the freelance box I'll be starting next month, I might need to apply to x amount of jobs or complete at least x hours of work to earn a shade-in. For a hobby or new language, it might be more minimal, like a goal of learning for 30 minutes a day 3 days a week.

At one point, I really wanted to try learning drawing, so I made it a goal to practice a few times a week for 30 minutes. I did this (and enjoyed it!) for a while before deciding drawing just wasn’t for me. I got bored with it. If I hadn’t been using the graph system, I might never have learned whether I *really* liked drawing enough to take it to another level or not. I never would have felt the iniative to really give it a try, to get that box filled in.

Some things are time-sensitive - only priorities for that month. For instance, this month I have to move for the third time in three years (ugh). So I have a section called ‘moving’ for March. 3 x a week I’d like to pack at least one box or make one arrangement toward the move, so I’m not scrambling last minute. Obviously, in April, this will no longer be a category as the move will be complete.

REVIEWING & FINE-TUNING

A part I added myself- and probably the most helpful!

JOURNALING. It’s helpful to me not only as a writer but as a human being with a lot of anxiety and indecision. Even if you don’t journal on a regular basis, having a journaling ‘check in’ around your priority list at the end of each month is an essential part of the process.

Carve out some time for yourself and really make it sacred. At my current apartment, I like to go out on my little balcony facing the woods, at least when springtime hits - my favorite time is in the morning. Wherever this place is for you, just meditate, stare into space and at your little graph and analyze your results. What surprised you? What did you learn about your priorities?

Now go on to the next month. What changes do you want to make to your graph? Is there something on the list that is no longer a priority? Maybe it’s a little habit you feel is almost too easy now that you’ve done it for a month straight- filling it in no longer feels like an accomplishment, more like the middle freebee space on a bingo board.

This is the time to adjust goals that are no longer a challenge- for example, if one of your goals is ‘write’ and your specification in the key is “300 words/day”, once this becomes something too easy, too habitual, up the ante a little- say, 600 words/day is now required to fill in the box. And so on.

If some blocks are blank for a long stretch, why is that? Also, how bad do you feel about it? If you don’t, it could be a sign that this is not an actual priority for you. That it may be something you feel you’re supposed to do, but you don’t really have a gripping enough reason to really feel driven to do it. It’s not personal. This type of thing is PERFECT to analyze in your journal. If you feel guilty about dropping this thing from your list even though you have no passion for it, why is that? Use your journal and meditative time to work through this. In your journaling and meditating, you may find that it needs to be taken off the list altogether. If this makes you feel lighter and happier, you know it’s the right decision.

Conversely, have you noticed an emptiness, an area you weren’t concentrated on enough but would like to be? Is there a significant chunk of fear or conflict you need to push past to make progress? Are you making the goal too high initially? Journal about this, write down small actionable steps that aren’t too scary and would help you fill in those boxes more often.

Now’s also the time to add brand-new goals! Is there something you’ve found a new passion for or want to explore more? Put it in the place of something that no longer needs to be on the list.

Finally, congratulating yourself for what you did accomplish is JUST as important as analyzing why you fell short in certain areas ~ and that’s where prizes come in!

PRIZES

Should you decide to reward yourself for a job well done (and I think you should!), prizes should be based not off of a percentage of the total squares in your graph, but the total squares that an ideal month would add up to. So 3x a week working out = 12 squares I add to my goal, not 31. Again, everything should not be an everyday goal- limit the number of daily habits you’re trying to finesse at once.

Prizes can be monetarily based- buying something you’ve had your eye on for a while, for instance, if you get a certain amount of squares by the end of the month. However, if you find yourself strapped for cash like me lately and this isn’t such a wise idea, there's plenty to do for free to treat yourself for your progress. Maybe binge on an addictive show, spend a whole day with no obligations, download and play a free game all day while eating your favorite goodies, etc, etc. It could be good to have a few levels of prizes, so you can feel good about any amount of progress. Little things like a couple of chocolates, a drink, an atmospheric bath, a nap- these can help you hit goalposts and press forward.

This is more than just another organization tactic. Once this system becomes a regular part of your life, you’ll find yourself learning things about yourself and your true priorities that you might have never known keeping a standard planner or just scrambling to get by day to day. You'll really start to look forward to your monthly check-in sessions too. With these built-in checkpoints and minimal time spent on involved processes like bullet journaling, I’ve been able to really discover a lot about what I want for myself and what’s not actually so important after all. Plus, it’s awesome to have my journal entries and corresponding monthly graphs to look back on, bringing my journey to life.

So what are you waiting for? Begin to learn about your process and celebrate your progress today!

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