Time to Change

Fall has shown how beautiful and painless change can be. The leaves give us one last glimpse of warmth before trees shed, and with serenity, simply change. Innately, effortlessly, and what I am wanting to emulate, with purpose. It is a function that enables the tree to survive the frigid, cold of winter. We too, I believe, are meant to function like this, despite our varying levels of resilience, we are meant to change.

Just like walking through snow feels heavy, the emotional weight of a period of time that is frigid, harsh, silent and colourless, feels heavy. But, what happens in spring? No amount of harsh weather can prevent buds from blooming in the spring. Despite the death of the leaves, and the flowers, life is seen once again.

Change occurred, but didn’t conquer.

Embracing change is hard, but resisting change just prolongs its process. I am letting go of resisting change. I have had my heels planted in the thick of the snow as change pulled me forward, and I dragged behind it. I have had patterns play out like reruns with the same, predictable breakdown following the disappointing ending. It is time to change.

FIVE ways to Initiate Change

Unlike the fall leaves, change is a choice that we must make. At times it may not feel like it but the choice is ours. Here are five steps to initiate change for yourself.

1. Let go of chaos

What is preventing you from changing? There are many things that may come to mind. I want to categorize them into: conscious chaos and unconscious chaos. Your unconscious chaos is what has messed you up, your conscious chaos is how it has manifested in your life at this very moment. My unconscious chaos is my childhood baggage. It has manifested itself in many ways. Toxic relationships, codependency, hoarding, psoriasis and anxiety, just to name a few.

Reflecting through the unconscious chaos, the “why you are the way you are” IS a productive first step, as long as it doesn’t stop there. However, right now let’s not focus on our unconscious chaos, and let’s look at what is physically, tangibly, consciously and chaotically right in front of you, because that is easiest to change. Is it a: relationship, parent, sibling, routine, health concern, job, environment, limiting belief?

Ask yourself, what is preventing you from changing and let that chaos go. Obviously this is more of a process, but declaring it and deciding what you want to let go of, is the first step to action. Do your best to put it on hold, give yourself space from it and release yourself from what you think is stopping you.

2. Be clear on what you want

You need to be clear on what you want in order to work towards achieving it, and in order to figure out what you need to change. Make a list of 3 things that you want, and commit to them. Better yet, make it visible and concrete. Write it on paper and post it on your wall or fridge.

Now, when looking at these three things what chaos is preventing you from having them? Let that chaos go! Once you are committed to these goals you can start making your first steps.

3. Educate yourself

There are many people who have done the work for you. Find a podcast, book, article or documentary that supports what you want to be doing. Make these a part of your routine. Listen to a podcast in the car before work and read a book before bed. Once you find a creator with content you resonate with, use it as a tool to motivate your change process. Hearing peoples stories, finding connections, building relationships with people you trust, will make your confidence muscle towards changing stronger.

4. Make boundaries for yourself

If change is going to occur you need to be clear on what you should be doing and what you shouldn’t be doing to work towards your goal. That means removing anything that may get in your way, including people. Ensure you are surrounding yourself with people that are supporting your growth, and remove or limit the time you spend with people who don’t. It is not your job to explain to others why you need to do what you need to do to change.

A hard discovery I had was the realization that even though I was establishing boundaries, it didn’t prevent people from trying to cross them. The truth is no matter how solid your boundaries are, they are meant to protect your actions and your reactions, not others. Declaring your need for change and establishing a boundary, won’t necessarily make others change.

5. Make a “Today and Someday”

What are actionable, realistic steps you can do? Here is a strategy I used to start my action plan. After you have made a list of your 3 goals, you need to prepare what you want these goals to look like in the future. The strategy is called “Today and Someday”.

Let’s start with our Someday. Where do you want these goals to be in one year? Your Someday should feel unattainable in the life you are living right now. If your goal was to leave your job, your Someday may be to be working at a new job in a year. Now, how do we get there?

What can we do today? Your Today should feel achievable in this very moment. Instead of thinking about weekly, or monthly tasks focus on that very moment, your Today. If being at a new job in one year was my Someday, then working on my resume would be my Today.

Change will be hard, it may feel long, and you’ll probably fail a few times, but, it is possible. For those who are afraid or need encouragement, this is helpful quote from above to remember:

Change occurred but did't conquer.

The anxiety and fear that comes with changing does not last. Changing your situation, letting go of toxic people or habits will feel painful but that will not conquer you.

Thank you for joining me today! As a reminder you can access free resources on my website at frommulch.com. While you are there check out my podcast called Mulch! I will be eventually creating subscriber exclusive content. You can also follow Mulch and my journey @from.mulch