This Chaotic Mess

I glance at the Fitbit on my wrist and its 10:30pm. Grrrr I growl to myself under my breath. I am at work and I have only been here thirty minutes. The night will be long; an eternity almost I am sure of it, before 6am rolls around. I pace myself and the paperwork in front of me for the next seven and half hours silently marking off each one in my head until I can get home and take off this mask, the necessary goggles, shoes and bra. Seven and half hours until I am at my apartment where I can retreat to my office slash guest bedroom, slash my cozy corner. Before I know it, the magical hour has arrived, HALLELUHIA! I quickly give a shift report to the next person in charge and then I gather my bag and head to my truck, and it is homeward bound for me. Once inside my apartment I drop my bag and keys on the floor next to the door and precede to take off the earlier mentioned items. I change into sweats and a comfy oversized t-shirt, my slippers and head to the kitchen. I pull out a frozen breakfast croissant sandwich tossing it in the microwave for one minute and twenty seconds because anything more will produce a brick instead of an edible sandwich. I make a cup of hot chocolate in the Keurig while I wait on my croissant that now has less than sixty seconds. Looking back at my wrist my Fitbit reminds me I still have 100 steps to complete within the hour, and I quickly dismiss it, I will just have to make it up later. I peek my head in the bedroom to check in on my husband who has no doubt probably just crawled into bed himself, he does not sleep well when I am at work. This works out to my advantage sadly, I mean I hate that he stays awake but that gives me that much needed quiet time, free from the world, free from the demands of work, just free from the distraction of everyday life. I quickly peck him on the cheek and let him know I am home safe and that I am retreating to my office, he returns the kiss half awake, and closes his eyes again, I look over at the bundle under neath the comforter and I see only the happy wagging tail of Bubba our fury little four legged Chiweenie. He is going to need to go outside for his morning walk before I can retreat to my office, I guess I will get those 100 steps in this hour after all, I think to myself as I whistle for him. Once outside I impatiently wait on Bubba to find the perfect few blades of grass to squat down and leave me his “gift”, at which time I remember I forgot to grab the “gift poop bag”. Oh my God, I yell silently in my head. I will just pick it up later besides the apartment manager is not in her office yet, I look to see if her car is the parking lot, it is not which tells me she is dropping her kids off at school. One of the cons of living directly in front of the leasing office, I remind myself as I tug on the leash signaling Bubba that it is time to go inside. Once inside I head to the kitchen and to microwave, where my breakfast is barely warm, but thankfully there is steam still coming from my coffee mug. With both in hand, and Bubba behind me I head to my office.

My office is nothing more than the second bedroom of our two-bedroom apartment, but it is my go-to place, my cozy corner, my sanctuary if you will. It is small but adequate for the purpose it serves. Here in this room, I am at peace, here I find tranquil and solitude to bask in especially after the previous eight hours. There is a small table that sits in the center of the room adjacent to a huge window. The table serves as my desk and writing station and is currently cluttered with all sorts of stuff; pens, pencils, a bag of opened ritz crackers, a make-up bag, my lucky stress ball, books I am currently reading, my bible, tablet and of course a photo of my three wonderful children who give me inspiration. For many people, the mess on my desk is chaotic and a distraction but for me dreams are born right here amongst this chaotic mess. I find a spot for my coffee mug and plate and sit down. Bubba has found his spot, which is an empty chair with one of his blankets that sits directly across from me. He takes a few minutes to fluff up his blanket before settling down and returning to sleep. I immediately open the shades on the window allowing the sunlight in. From my seat at the table, I take in the view of the world and this morning I need the sunlight to keep me awake. My body has never really acclimated to the work schedule I keep, and the sunlight helps me to focus on the task before me, I turn on my PC and while it is warming up, I open the Spotify app on my phone and go to my favorite music list of relaxing instrumentals. I sip on my hot chocolate and take in the chaotic mess around me as I begin to write for the day, ahhhhh yes, this chaotic mess is my peaceful place at home.