The silent worrier.

You ever feel like you take on the battles of everyone else and try to fix them. Sometimes you actually do fix the issues and help others, and maybe that’s why you’re constantly trying to help again. Though, sometimes you feel overwhelmed, you take on the emotional draft of those around you and you never express. You hold on to the worries, pain, denial about feeling sad or depressed. Rather it’s from your own emotional, or physical damage or someone you’ve helped.

You bottle up so much, hold it all in thinking “this is best for everyone” or “I’m fine, I can not show weakness” these are just a few lines you tell yourself to help cope with the thoughts and pain. Yet in the back of our minds it lingers, and you no longer want to be the strong one or the “savior” but just have someone ask you simply “how are you doing?”. Feeling vulnerable is not your forte so you conceal and hide your feelings. Headaches occur, dark nights alone shedding slient tears because no one can you see now. It’s unhealthy, but understandable. Does this all just fall on “being strong?” Or does love, pain, fear, and worry play apart in the decision to keep it all inside.

Breathe... take a second to breathe, and listen to what you want, listen to your inner voice whose trying to reach you. There are people who care, who’ll understand, and support you through thick and thin. Wash the fear away, open up, feel the love around you. Holding it in causes unconscious stress, feeling lonely or a hole inside of you. Fill that hole, talk to someone, express yourself on paper, do a recording to yourself, or talk to someone else you trust. Don’t be the secret worrier.

I get it, it feels like we know how to help everyone except ourselves. Our ears don’t want to hear the trouble we’ve seen or feel. It’s quite ironic I know. Feeling like your the “fixer” but can’t fix yourself. Most people find it hard to make time for their own problems. Especially if you seem to function well enough.

Sometimes, though, it’s things that trigger us to remember, relive a bad moment, or think about our lives and what makes us sad. Those triggers are when we realize we’re not well, we’re silently hurting and have never admitted it. Either you hate feeling weak, sad, lonely, lost, or hurt. Or you really didn’t know you were stressing on the inside.

Our happiness comes from making others happy! That’s when we feel the most joy. So we put our needs and wants aside for others and sometimes forget to make “me” time later. I just want you to know that it’s ok to say it out loud now. It’s ok to be vulnerable, it’s ok to put yourself first, and it’s ok to not be ok sometimes.

Don’t let things eat away at you from the inside out. It’s many of people just like you, your not odd or alone. Talking and writing or even dancing and drawing your emotions or thought out is an wonderful therapy. You’re no longer limited to just one release of therapy. Everyone’s not good with talking especially to an stranger.

Set yourself free, let the boulder, you didn’t even know you were holding up, roll off your shoulders and that’s when you’ll realize you’re much lighter, can stand up straighter, and you’ll feel so much better than before.