The Serenity Prayer Energized

When I was a child, I went to Al-anon meetings with my cousin. My uncle was an alcoholic. I learned the Serenity prayer there. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

I didn't know then what a profound tool I had been given. That on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis I needed to accept the things I could not change -

Like the past (a big one), other people (an even bigger one, hence another great childhood lesson- mind ya business), my race, my height, and many other things.

Accepting what cannot be changed is crucial. So much energy is wasted beating ourselves up over the past, worrying about what we did, what others might have thought. Some times we put ourselves down for things we can't control. Sometimes we stress about things like the weather or the seasons, the traffic, a late flight or the year or our ages/growing older. We engage in woulda, coulda, shoulda. And that wouldn't be so bad except those thoughts and the triggered emotions can increase stress hormones, stomach acid, migraines, high blood pressure, moodiness and lower the immune system. It literally can make us live sicker, shorter, sadder lives.

Accept what you cannot change. Good or bad. Learn from the bad. Feel grateful for the good. Stop fighting reality. Fighting what cannot be changed is pointless.

Acceptance is the first step. We have to learn to BE. We are human BEINGS, not human DOINGS. You may not be able to change what has happened, but you can decide what kind of character traits will impact your reactions, what kind of attitudes you will display. I remember Maya Angelou once say, "People may not remember what you do, but they will remember how you made them feel."That is because our energy leaves an impression. Like when you walk in the room after someone has just been arguing, and you feel the tension in the air. The energy field was disturbed. Maybe you walk out, or maybe you say something light to break that tension. Or sometimes just the light that is you begins to impact that tension and lift it.

There is a serenity in acceptance, honest acceptance. But the trick is knowing what is true and what is not. I've accepted things I should have fought, like negative opinions about myself. And I've fought things I should have accepted. What I have learned to do regularly is to take stock, maybe on my birthday or anniversary or an extended weekend. To sit down and write a list of what I know to be true, what I accept about myself, life, the world. It brings me a lot of clarity. It fosters peace.

Here is a paragraph I wrote about myself four year ago. I keep these acceptance journals and re-read them. Sometimes I write updates. Other times, it's a good reminder to love me- just as I am.

Voluptuous

As a pre-teen I cringed when peers nicknamed me Dolly Parton 2. I wanted to be willowy not robust, dainty not curvaceous. And when athleticism ruled my days, my thigh muscles bulged as I strutted. Leg pressing a whole stack leaves its mark. And after twins and heart break, pounds gained and lost, I think I'm finally at peace, done apologizing for my full lips, my thick waist, my 38 DDs. Size 18 sounds nice and right and round. Size 8 was fabulous, and size 12 & 16, I enjoyed. But I revel in my hips and dips. The swell of my cleavage. My voluptuous body matches my mind, my mouth, my sex drive. Take me or leave me. Those that can handle me 100 proof deserve me, and those that can't weren't for me to begin with. I am zaftig, buxom with a zest for life and love. Primal, regal, unrestrained. I am desire personified.

I shared my journal with you, but you can keep yours for your eyes alone. Reading those words uplifts me. Then from that clear eyed viewpoint, I can summon courage to change the things I desire, if and when that becomes my wish. Acceptance is empowering. It gives serenity. May you walk in Zennurgy today!

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