The Reality Of Expectations

Expectations are what you or others expect from you.

Reality is exactly how it works out.

There may be times that our expectations fall into our reality. Research has however verified that this is only a small percentage of the time. We always have higher expectations of ourselves because of others.

There is so much pressure to be a certain way because of what others or society expects of us.

Individuals are indicating how we should live our lives and how we should act in particular situations. Others opinions often rob us of our happiness because naturally, we tend to want to please others.

What if what others want of us is not what makes us happy? Are we tough enough to tell them to shut up and keep their beliefs to themselves?

I was so anxious but delighted to get married. The reason why there was slight fear is that others around me would tell me you’re too inexperienced to be married? The repetitive comment was well that’s it now there goes your life! People thought 23 was way too young to be married. Remarks kept coming from people who had no purpose in my life. Some of the remarks were, ‘you’ll always be arguing’, ‘living together will be so difficult’ and ‘watch when he divorces you’. Writing that last comment down actually makes me so angry, how can you say something like that to someone? For these reasons I saw some friends drift away as they couldn’t comprehend what I was doing but I knew I was prepared. I thought oh my, here goes my marriage, let’s see what others were saying is true. My expectations were shifting based on other’s opinions. The reality of it all is marriage certainly has its ups and downs, but I am forever happy. Living together is so fun and there’s endless laughter. I sit back now an I think what if someone else’s expectation had put me off my own decision to say yes.

Becoming a mum also made it clear to me that these expectations of you don’t stop. You’re presumed to be this perfect mother who never cracks. Well I’m sorry to say it, it doesn’t always go that way. You may not do parenting the same as another mum but you’re still an amazing mum no matter how it’s done. One expectation that gets on my nerves is others saying now is the time for another baby. I’d love to know if they’ll be there to support my household when the child is born.

I hear this frequently where people want to authorise people’s life choices. A lot of individuals believe there is an age to be married or an age that you shouldn’t be single. Who actually made these rules? I wish other people who are going through this will know that your decisions are for you and no one else.

Others simply have an impact on us and as much as we may not want to acknowledge it, it’s true.

I saw a quote the other day that said just because I’m not married before 30 doesn’t make me worthless. Just because I’ve chosen not to have a child doesn’t mean I don’t care for others. Just because I’m studying at the age of 50 doesn’t mean it’s too late.

This couldn’t have been said any better. There should be no expectation for anything. We all work and move at our own pace through life. What is meant to be will be and you must always choose what is right for you.

If you are finding your own expectations hard to fulfil, don’t worry you’ve got this. Here’s some rules to follow from me.

Analyse some of the issues that maybe holding you back

Remember any issues can be fixed with time

You will always have expectations and goals for yourself. Do not let any individual deter you from your own expectations.

Make sure you recognise what problems are holding you back and figure out why it may be an issue. Your reality will always need some work or change, this is how you grow. I know getting stuff done can be difficult for a mixture of reasons, but it is okay to start over. Whether it be relationships or studying you can start again.

People will always talk. They forever have and always will. No matter how you talk, behave, dress and the decisions you make they’ll always be someone criticising. It really doesn’t matter what people say or think of you behind closed doors or in your face. Their viewpoints don’t distinguish what you’re all about. It can occasionally be disheartening and hurtful but be strong throughout this. Don’t believe them. Look the other way for your own sanity. When you know you’re doing the right thing, follow that path and continue contributing to the world.

Always remember that ‘’ Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.’’ – Marcus Aurelius