The Process in Changing

How I Cope UP S.P.D. (Schizoid Personality Disorder) is quite challenging. Knowing and checking your own mental health, I should say, is very important as much as one’s emotional, physical, and spiritual. I tend to know what causes me to feel uncertain in things that make me  feel uneasy or anxious in my life towards my goals both short and long term goals. What is Schizoid Personality Disorder? It is considered one of the mental illnesses and it is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency toward a solitary or sheltered lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, detachment and apathy.

 
Some people develop this kind of disorder due to dramatic events in life that probably caused one to change its behavior or attitudes towards people around in its environment. I used to be a loner and growing up, my parents would encourage me from participating in any events that involved socializing and exposing myself to put myself in a big crowd like joining school competitions and sports. I developed and learned how to cope up with my peers at school and even outside. I learned how to be an approachable person and learned how to lead certain groups of people in every activity I was in. 


It was fun but then later it became too much to handle the pressure that I can’t track who were around me that caused some negatives and positives influence in my life as a human being. I met bad people who took advantage of my fun and approachable side of personality that later made me so vulnerable. Also losing important people in my life whom I won’t be able to see ever again made a lot of bad impact on my mental health. I wasn’t able to handle my emotions because of an unfocused mentality and that was horrible to later find out that I was unconsciously doing “self-harming” for the reason that feeling physical pain would get me out from being so emotionally scattered and would help me get back to being rational. 


It wasn't fun to get any mental check ups and get medications from having this disorder. I was not happy about how my past medications caused my brain or mental state to become limited on how I memorize things or information that I wanted to remember. It caused me to have a “short term memory loss” once in a while. My ability to memorize information has been limited and so I quit taking those medication pills that were prescribed. I did some research about my own mental and personality problems and learned about how to cope up with it without seeking professional help anymore. It is quite hard at first, but I think knowing more about your own mental or personality problems is very important so whenever I feel like my SPD is kicking back again, I know I can manage.


I think changing my behavior and attitude on how I should act in some situations isn’t a bad thing for I am able to block unnecessary thoughts or feelings that would cause me to be vulnerable. I do not trust people easily and I do not smile a lot in public anymore. I slowly learn to be quiet and think more about what is best for me. Changing on how I approach people around me not just towards my family and friends, but also to my working place. Interacting with people is good but I think doing it too much is not good either. Balancing the actions in any situations and environment is one of  the things that I always try to remember to myself. I definitely do not like other people to hurt me verbally or get affected by how bad they would act towards me. I would get over it easily. Having peace of mind is more important to myself.


Knowing more about your own well being is part of growing up for self improvement and development. I cope up with my stress and peers by writing novels or short essays, painting, or reading something that interests me the most. Nobody else would understand how your mental state works and that is okay as long as you know  your own mentality and how it works good for you. Gaining knowledge about what interests you the most is a gain. It helps your mind to explore your imagination and be creative on the things you love to do in your own free time. 


I would list down the things that are not good for me and list down all the things that are good for myself that would help me get through the day or even in tough situations. Knowing more about my weaknesses and strengths made me learn how to embrace and love myself. Find what gives your mind peace. I assure once one learns how to cope up, everything will be manageable. Close your eyes, and take a deep breath. Remind yourself to keep moving forward. You can do it!