The Once-Reluctant Warrior

Throughout my life, I seemed to always lose when winning was a sure thing. It wasn't until my very good friend, Vince Bernardin, asked me to read a book by the name of The Dream Giver, written by Bruce Wilkinson, that I discovered why. I took the book home and started reading immediately.

The story was about a man named Ordinary and the journey he takes to reach his Big Dream. Ordinary leaves his home in Land of Familiar after a dream, wherein the Dream Giver shows him a wonderful dream for his life. When he wakes, there is a beautiful white feather on the windowsill. Ordinary decides the only way he will achieve his Big Dream is if he does it himself, so he sets out alone. Ordinary was immediately faced with an obstacle that he had to either overcome or give up and go back to Land of Familiar. His first obstacle was The Wall of Fear.

I stopped right there in the book and took immediate inventory of my life. What did I want? What did I need to make it happen? Could I really do that? Should I really do that? I would fix dinner, put the boys to bed and then I would decide. Did you see what happened there? I immediately recognized that when I started asking myself questions I became very uncomfortable at the prospect of taking action. Shaky with the thought of leaving every person I have known in my life to strike out and make it on my own. I made the boys dinner, settled them in with Spongebob and got back to taking inventory of my life. The only way things were going to change was if I changed them. Once I knew what I wanted for the future of myself and my family, I picked up the book and started reading again. Would you look at that? I had just overcome my Wall of Fear too!

Once past the fear that had previously paralyzed Ordinary, he walked on towards his Big Dream. He walked, and he walked, and he walked. It seemed he would never reach his destination. All at once, it was there. He had reached his next obstacle. It was found in Borderland. Borderland was full of Nobodies and Bullies. The biggest bully in Ordinary's life was his mother, who refused to believe that Ordinary was capable of success. Nobodies with loud opinions and Bullies continued to attack Ordinary, and he was close to giving up, when Dream Giver sent Ordinary a man by the name of Champion. While Ordinary sat still beside a river and contemplated giving up, Champion pointed out to him what was happening. The people that were screaming the loudest were Nobodies! Why did their opinions even matter? Ordinary had to decide if he was making his journey to please Nobodies or was he making his journey with Dream Giver?

I had found my Champion in Vince. I was finding my value, and I was going to chase my dream. I got right back to reading so I would know what I was in for.

Ordinary found himself beside some pretty troubled Waters. Upon first glance, it looked easy to traverse because there was a bridge that stretched over the roaring water. It wasn't to be, though. A man that had decided the bridge belonged to him would not allow Ordinary to pass. Though the waters were rough, Ordinary decided that the only possible way he would get to his dream would be to swim across it. As he prepared to swim the expanse of roaring water, Dream Giver acknowledged the willingness of Ordinary to do whatever it took and sent him a boat.

That was it. I knew I couldn't give up, no matter what. I had to go all in or stay exactly where I was, pretty much ensuring the family cycle would continue with my children. I could not let that happen.

Once across the rough Waters, Ordinary was sure his Big Dream was within reach, but he found himself very quickly in barren Desert Wasteland. He was confused, and he called upon Dream Giver, though to no avail. Dream Giver wouldn't answer. Ordinary was really starting to doubt himself when Faith showed up. Ordinary and Faith traveled for several days together, and little by little, Ordinary regained his trust in Dream Giver. Onward he and Faith pushed until they were at the gate of The Sanctuary.

The Sanctuary was where things got real for Ordinary real fast. Dream Giver shined a light so bright that it lit up the darkest parts of Ordinary's heart. The light lit up places in his heart that Ordinary didn't understand he had. Dream Giver threw Ordinary a real curve ball when he asked him to give him the dream back, it did, after all, come from Dream Giver. Ordinary wanted his dream, but Dream Giver had done so much for him during his journey and he felt he owed it to him, so he handed his Big Dream back to the one that gave it to him. It was only for a moment that Ordinary was without his dream, for Dream Giver made it even bigger and gave it back to him before sending Ordinary to take on the rest of his journey.

Ordinary continued on his journey and he found himself on his way to the Valley of the Giants. On his way, he met a man named Commander. Commander explained that Ordinary had become a warrior, and that all the things he had been through on his journey prepared him for the upcoming fight. All the truths he learned on his journey were his weapons, and he had a bag full. Commander warned Ordinary about the most evil Giant in all the land, Unbelief. Unbelief was terrible and would cause even the strongest men to doubt themselves. If Ordinary was going to make it, he HAD to steer clear of the one called Unbelief. Ordinary made it through the land of Giants only to come upon a city that had been held hostage for many years by a Giant.

The city of Anybodies is where Ordinary fought the Giant. He was fighting the Giant for the Anybodies, as they were unable to defend themselves. He fought all day and into the night, and he couldn't defeat he Giant. He didn't stop though, and the next day he went right back to using every tool he had acquired on his journey against the Giant. Nothing seemed to work. Ordinary cried out to the Dream Giver for help and was told to keep fighting, and his miracle would come. Ordinary fought harder, but he was out of tools and out of options, with just one thing left in his possession, the beautiful white feather that was left on the windowsill as a reminder that it was all real all he had to do was seek his Big Dream. He threw the feather at the feet of the Giant, and the Giant fell dead. That was it. It was over with the Giant's hold on the city of Anybodies, but the city had been held in such fear and the terror was so great that the city had fallen apart. Ordinary knew that he had to stay and teach the Anybodies how to rebuild their homes and their lives. That's where Ordinary settled and lived his Big Dream. That is, until he could do no more for the city of Anybodies and he took his Big Dream on to the next place.

I have been a fighter in my life. I fought everything and everyone. It didn't matter to me who it was, what the circumstances were, or who may have been present at the time, if you wanted a fight you could have sure had one. I had decided that some of us are just born to fight, just born to be the one to take the hits in life. I was supposed to spill blood and have mine spilled. I wasn't supposed to have love. Everyone respected the fighter out of fear, but love just wasn't supposed to happen for people with my lot in life. By the time I finished reading The Dream Giver, I knew I didn't feel right about my lot in life because I was being the Bully, and far too often, I was a Giant for anyone that might have committed the slightest offense. I was a fighter, but that wasn't my lot in life. I was born to be a warrior.

I took my journey in my own way, but faced everything Ordinary did. The truths I gained during my journey did more to free my soul than it did to sharpen my sword for anyone else. The Anybodies are what mattered the most. That's where Ordinary found his Big Dream, and it is with Anybodies that I find mine. Part of the destruction of any Giant is the rebuilding phase. I will stand beside you and help you slay your Giant. That's the easy part, fighting is my game. I'm also here to do the most important part, and that's to help you rebuild. Once you rebuild and your heart is strong, don't you dare keep your Big Dream for yourself! You will not find TRUE happiness until you share your Big Dream with the next person.

I am living my Big Dream. I reside on the coast of Oregon, where you will find the most beautiful scenery in the country. I am married to my best friend. My children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren are all amazing, beautiful souls. I cannot put into words the kindness and love my community shows to one another, and that is an awe-inspiring thing to see. I get to write as often as I wish and about whatever topic I choose. I would find no joy in any of it were it not for the pieces I have written that has helped even one single person find their way. I display my life in front of the world. Good, bad, ugly or indifferent, the world gets me as I am. I do that only to show that we all screw up. I do it to show that you aren't the only one that is thinking or feeling the way you do. I do it to show you that you don't have to be a victim, you have a choice.

Accept with graciousness the Big Dream you have been given. Fight for it. Don't let anything stop it. Some of us are born to fight for those that aren't sure how to fight for themselves, but also to teach them how to fight for themselves. I will fight with you, every step of the way, but I expect you to start throwing some punches on your own behalf. Nobody is going to own your Big Dream but you! It isn't meant for anyone else and if you don't seek it out and claim it, that is your fault. Something happened in your life. I'm sorry. I truly am sorry that whatever happened to you came to pass, but I ask you friend, is it happening now?

I walk this earth to be a warrior, a fact that I reluctantly accepted. Reluctantly because to be a warrior means you have to love people. I could not get up and fight every single day for something I didn't believe in. That's why my lot in life used to always feel so wrong to me. I had been fighting against everything and every person in my life when a warrior is meant to fight FOR something. I fight for you to understand that you don't have to be a victim. I fight for you to understand that rape when you are a teenager was traumatic and scarring, but it DOES NOT define who you are. I fight so that you know the child sexual abuse you suffered as a child was not your fault, you did nothing wrong. I fight so that you understand that the drug or bottle of alcohol does not have to call the shots. You can take control of your life and be the somebody that you have always wanted to be, you just have to decide that you want peace in your life. You have to decide to live and not just exist.

Your mind is a battlefield. Be its commander, not its soldier. I'm not sure where that quote came from, but I am one-hundred percent certain of the impact applying that quote to your life will mean to you. Please take your place in life, the place that was meant for only you. Don't be a victim of anything for one more second. Take your journey and find the warrior in yourself. It is worth the fight.