The Moment That Shapes You

I read the prompt for this competition and was called to write. A part of me thought maybe I could write a fiction piece, but I knew it needed to be real. It needed to be the truth. It needed to be authentically me.

Write about a seemingly small moment in your life that ended up having a big impact. Reflect on how it changed your perspective, values, or decisions. Explore how paying attention to small things can reveal profound truths about ourselves and the world, and change the course of one's life.

The prompt is above. As I type this, I don't know what I'll say or where my mind will take me. All I know is it needs to go wherever we're going. I want to thank you for coming with me on this journey.

There are some moments in life that you would rather forget and some that you wish you could play on repeat, forever allowing your heart to beat in rhythm with the universe. Out of all the moments I've experienced, the ones I'd rather forget were the ones that changed me. For a long time, I thought they'd changed me for the worst, but I've learned to embrace them and let them change me in incredible ways.

One is standing out in particular. We were told as children, Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you. I'm sure they wanted it to be true, but I'm not sure if our parents even believed that crap when they said it. It is the words of others that have had the biggest impact on me. Words that I was too young to realise were not true. Words that came from someone else's desperate need for control and power over a vulnerable fourteen-year-old girl.

I am not going to repeat them here. I may never repeat them. It took me twenty-seven years to realise that I believed those words. Not only did I believe them, but subconsciously I let them control my life. It took one minute for an adult to change my belief system or to stamp in what may have already been there - one minute to teach me that I wasn't worthy. I only remembered that night a few years ago. I only allowed myself to feel the pain of his words and the impact earlier this week.

I can't begin to describe the change that occurred when I sat in my therapist's office and could finally see that the words spoken to me were not true. They had never been true. But the fourteen-year-old me didn't know that. She had no one that she felt she could talk to. So, instead, she pushed it all away and pretended it didn't happen. Not knowing the impact that hiding from it would have - not knowing that she would spend her life pushing anyone away who dared to get close.

That moment of saying his words out loud to someone and allowing myself to feel what I'd never let myself feel has had the most significant impact on my life so far. I have no idea where it will take me. All I know is my outlook on life changed in an instant. I've woken up each day with a huge smile, grateful for every moment, and a knowing that I will never again allow someone else's words to have that kind of power over me.

Most importantly, I know that I am worthy of amazing things in this life. We all are. No one should ever be given the power to take away that belief. No one has the right; they can only do it if we let them. If I could go back in time, I would lie on the floor with that young version of me and hold her hand while she listened to the words of a perverted creep and remind her that she was not alone, and help her find the power she always had to tell him to jog on and take his crap elsewhere.

Who knows where I would be if she had done that? Even with the pain I once carried, I don't want to be anywhere or anyone else. Maybe I had to go through it all to get to where I am. Life is funny that way, and I love the life I have created.