The BURN OUT

Getting started is so hard. Do you ever lay in bed all night thinking about the plans you have for the next day? A whole list of to do’s with the conviction you will certainly do them. Somehow the comfort of blankets and regrets of another day motivates all sorts of plans and desires. Things you aspire to complete, or things you only want to delete. Then morning comes, and you wake up feeling refreshed. Ready to conquer the new day ahead. Ready to put those plans in action. But you’re body is frozen. Something is holding you back. The same distractions from the day before hinder your ambitions. The ideas are still there. The energy is there. But you feel paralyzed, unable to take a step forward. Feeling like your drowning in every idea all at once, suffocating underneath the passion, with every ounce of your mind trying to break through. But your body just sits there. A war with our own thoughts. A battle with our doubts. There are places we want to go, activities we want to complete, but we’re stuck in the same zone. Intrusive thoughts tend to replace the space to create. The motivation turns to tremors and the nerves make you quake. The pressure put on yourself is squeezing too tight, and the more you push the heavier the weight becomes to carry. You've mastered the inability to function. You try everything, but that thing you are actually trying to do. You understand where you are headed but the fear challenges you. The darkness clouds your vision and the light becomes dim. It’s just a hard day today, I’ll tell myself. But the day turns into days, then weeks, then months, even years. The enthusiasm that once propelled you to find victory, becomes numb.

It could be the simplest of tasks. But stepping out of a routine, even when it is for our benefit, can be looming. We like to stay where we feel comfortable, even if we are fully aware it is not for the best. Wanting, but not yet willing to initiate a change. We put it to the side, make an excuse. It becomes an after thought. Treating it like the enemy even when we realize that it might be the very thing that saves us. That mentality alone can be draining, disheartening. Like a tug of war between the past and future. And we just sit in the present conflicted on which direction to go. A force trapping you from inside, allowing you to believe it is impossible to escape. And for a while, you become distraught. Wallowing in your own misfortunes. Knowing that the disappointment in yourself cuts harder then anyone else’s opinions.

I had to breakaway. Breakaway from what was holding me hostage. The habits that consumed me, the thoughts that diminished my strength. I had to rid myself of the distractions in order to put my thoughts in action. It’s not always easy. Well, it never really is. Like an uphill road in the battle. It’s exhausting at times. But when you believe in what you are doing, what you are creating, it drives the motivation. It takes replacing what holds you back with what launches you forward. Being consistent. One step at a time.

Try not to chain yourself to a timeline. Do not be discouraged if it seems to falter. Give yourself a break and just keep going. Never give up. Persistence is key. Completing something you set your mind to can bring so much joy. Even if for a moment, even if it’s just one step ahead. Accomplishing a goal where you once kept falling short, that is a victory. As simple or extreme as it might be. Let it light a fire in you. Never give in to the darkness, no matter how much you want to. Because sometimes the toughest battle is right before the greatest triumph.

Sometimes that is all it takes. Just starting. Taking one step beyond the comfort of familiarity. A peek into the unknown. Because that is the only way you can survive. Releasing yourself from what it debilitating you to make that next move. The path you know your soul is ready to take.