The Broke College Grad Diaries - Part 6

Hey, World!

It’s your favorite broke college graduate with another life update!

To be honest, life has been relatively mellow lately. My emotional state has been mostly stable with a few fun fluctuations here and there. And, other than the fact that the U.S. Capitol was attacked by some of the most radical Trump supporters I’ve ever seen, the world has been pretty “normal”. As “normal” as it can be during a pandemic, I guess.

I’m still held up in my apartment for most of the day, every day, which has allowed for a lot of time dedicated to writing and working on my YouTube channel! I’m sure many of you have noticed that I post my poems/blog content at least three times a week and a new YouTube video every Sunday which is a huge accomplishment for me!

I’ll say, it’s been hard trying to come up with new blog post ideas! I always strive to write something that’ll be featured on Vocal as a Top Story, but it’s not that easy to consistently come up with creative posts. I just really like to share my life and interests with people!

Poetry, however, is a completely different monster. Sometimes I feel as if my brain is only ever thinking in poetic prose; sometimes I think that’s the only way I’ve thought, ever!

I’ve been working on getting better at writing poetry and finding my voice/writing style and one thing that’s really helped with that is MasterClass! I’ve been taking a class taught by Billy Collins, an amazing poet, and his lessons have been incredibly helpful; he has shined a new light on poetry for me!

Here's an excerpt from my poem called In Order To Live On:

I told a single lie

that spring, when we met

watching the cherry blossoms

dance so gently with the wind

In one class he shared a poem he wrote in which he used hats as a metaphor as an example that poetry can use anything as a catalyst for writing. He makes me want to become a crazy poet who can turn the most boring, plain things into a spectacular poem!

I can tell that I’m improving my writing because it’s becoming a lot easier to write something after an idea pops into my head. I think the fact that I immediately start writing once an idea forms is what helps me the most because I’m no longer allowing for the idea to decay. I just grab on the emotions and words in my head and put them on paper until I have nothing left to say. Though, it leaves me feeling a little empty headed some days!

Although I’ve been writing and creating a lot lately, I’ve been feeling a little let down by my reader turn out. Or, I suppose, it feels like I’m letting readers down with every post.

Sometimes it feels like less and less people want to read my writing which leads to me being a little insecure baby (what can I say, I’m emotional!). What’s most difficult is trying to explain to others just how hard you’re working because the work that goes into writing and making YouTube videos is completely invisible.

As frustrating as it can be to watch my views decrease, I think this time of my life is teaching me a really important lesson: to endure the long road to success. After all, if I was going to let a little dip in my views stop me from chasing after my dreams, I would’ve never started this journey!

There’s this anime about volleyball called Haikyu and in it the main character refuses to admit defeat no matter how close his team is to losing. He always says things like “Well, we haven’t lost yet. We could still turn things around.” That’s how I feel about this situation. I may have lost some viewership, but I’m not at zero. And two of my stories have been featured as a Top Story so, I must be doing at least one thing right!

I guess what I’m getting at is, to everyone out there who’s fighting their own unseen battles, you haven’t lost yet because, otherwise, you wouldn’t still be fighting.

I wish you all luck in your endeavors and I hope you all have a lovely weekend!

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