The Brightside

If someone were to ask me, out of everything I have been through in my nineteen years of life, what the most damaging thing was, I honestly don’t know which event I’d tell them about. But what I can tell you, is that I came out of everything as a very strong and beautiful person. I not only use the skills I’ve learned to continue to help myself, but I use them, along with my great personal traits of compassion and understanding, to help everyone I meet in life who needs some help in their own personal journey of healing. I have grown, after my spiritual awakening last August, to have this amazing mindset and outlook on the world. I am a very spiritual person and I have learned to deeply connect with the planet and therefore myself.

Living in such a judgmental, hateful, and closed-minded society as a teenager was hard. It still is sometimes. People think that you should live up to their expectations of you and if you don’t, then you don’t matter. People judge people for simply being themselves or for things they can’t control like their skin color or their looks. As you can imagine, this is a difficult society to grow up in. However, I use society's hateful opinions of who I am to fuel my confidence because at the end of the day they are just that, opinions. When I was younger, I was very depressed and suicidal. I was diagnosed with anxiety at only six years old, depression at nine, anorexia at twelve, and other disorders along the way. I have been hospitalized a total of five times for my anorexia and depression. I was at a point in my life where I had entirely hit rock bottom. I absolutely hated myself and I hated being alive because everything took an extremely painful amount of effort, even breathing. I was so sick from my eating disorder that I had almost not made it, and I was happy that I almost didn’t. That’s how tired of life I was. So, back then I would take peoples hateful words to heart. Even if they were not directed at me, like a post on Instagram or a magazine cover, I would tear myself down emotionally and even harm myself physically because society made me feel as if I wasn’t good enough. But now I finally realized that I am good enough. I am beautiful. I am worth it. I am a lucky one because I made it out of the darkness as an entirely new and enlightened person. I can finally say that I am happy and truly mean it. I hope that everyone who has been where I have been, or even people who haven’t, find true happiness and fall completely in love with themselves. Because ever since I have, I have been living my best life and I haven’t even reached my full potential yet. I know I will grow a million times more and continue to be a better version of myself over and over again throughout my lifetime.

So how did society change me? It made me realize that I am perfectly imperfect just the way I am and that it is not my responsibility to live up to other people’s expectations of me. I learned that a smile is the prettiest thing you can wear and that beauty is most beautiful when it’s within your soul and spirit, not just in your looks. I learned that confidence is key, not cockiness. I learned that you can only heal if you want to heal because if you don’t truly want to no one else can help you to the fullest extent possible. I learned that relationships are so important. Not romantic ones just relationships with people who make you happy and encourage you to live your best life and want to live it with you. I learned that the body is an art piece that is more than sexual, it is intricate and absolutely beautiful no matter what form or color. I learned that the mind is incredibly powerful and that not everything hurts forever because you have the power to change your mindset if you really try. I learned that mother nature is the greatest goddess who truly looks out for us if we respect her. I learned that looking on the bright side of things really allows you to never be upset for long or at all, and trust me there’s a bright side to everything. I learned that healing is hard but not impossible. I learned that love is stronger than anything and that you must love yourself above anyone because you are the most important person in your life. I learned that if you put your mind to something you can do it, just don’t give up. Most of all, I learned that I should be grateful, because I survived what many people couldn’t and that is why I dedicate my life to helping people. So, thank you to society for hating on me for being the amazing person I am, because it made me stronger. I am enough. I am beautiful. I am alive.