The best thing you can do for your children

Allow your children to become more than you became.

This requires letting go of selfishness, envy, partially your own ego. Let go of comparisons, holding them back in fears that they would outgrow you, let go of being competitive with your own kids. Don’t limit them at your own limits, don’t try to make them projects so you can live vicariously through them - you had your own live, dreams, let them live their life, not just have them continue where you left off.

And most of all, be for them, not against them. Praise them often, so they’ll know that you’re proud of them, magnify all the good that they do, don’t just point out their failures or shortcomings. Be their cheerleader that they’ll know, that you have their back, no matter what. They need to know that you’re ‘’the rock’’ that they can always count on. And trust. And you will be able to trust them too.

That trust is important, so they’ll know that with you they’re on solid ground, that their word means more to you that the word of any teacher, friend, stranger, or even distant family member.

Be generous with your talents, but don’t force it on them. I know a person who withheld her artistic talent from her kids, and now she’s not only withholding it from her grandkids, but even tries to extinguish the flame of their talent, by limiting their access to explore their talents.

The famous composer Johann Strauss II, had a family who hated his musical talent, because he was musically more skilled than his father and his siblings. In 1844 he had his debut as a composer. His father was in the audience. But his father was there for a different reason that you’d have expected. He went there to boo and ridicule his son and his music. Only after the father saw that the audience was applauding JS II, giving him standing ovations, that his father did not dare to pursue with his original plan of disgracing his son.

When JS II died in 1899, his brother, Eduard, went to his house, no, not to mourn him, but to make a huge bonfire and burn all the written but yet unpublished manuscripts of JS II’s music, so the fame of his brother’s talents would not expand.

When you have family like this, who needs enemies!

When Michelangelo announced to his father that he wants to be an artist, his father beat him. His father claimed to have had royal blood, and there was no way that he’d allow his son to be an artist. His father, Ludovico, along with his brother (Michelangelo’s uncle) continued the beatings for years. Michelangelo grew up disliking the company of people, and preferring the solitude. He had a difficult time relating to people, art was his only companion throughout his life.

When you have family like that, who needs enemies!

Love your kids, show them opportunities for growth, so they can make a good life for themselves and for their descendants. Be for you kids, and never against them. That’s the best gift you can give to them, for their life. Love, console, guide without pressuring, listen without judging, never condemn, tell them how great they can become, tell them that you believe in them, that they will do great things in their life, and them be there every step of the way, to cheer them on that way.

Parenting exceeds the required 18 years. Parenting is equipping your child for a good life, and being there for them, without interfering in their life's journey afterwards. And that is an honor, not a chore!|