The arts of finding your inner peace

It’s pretty ironic to write this article while being in one of the most depressing and turbulent stages of my life so far. I have been battling with a persistent skin issue for a long time, and over the past year, it has spiraled out of control. I’ve tried numerous treatments, yet I remain stuck in limbo, unsure of how this chronic condition might evolve. Occasionally, I wondered how I ended up in this cycle of pain and suffering. It is daunting to experience the burning rashes, the excruciating itchiness, and the endless uncertainty about the possibilities of healing.

But in darkness we find light, don’t we? No matter how beaten up we are, for whatever reasons, we will always find our way back to experience life again, both its joys and hardships. And that’s lesson number one: Accept that life will never be a straight line.

Lesson One: Stop seeking the ultimate “happiness”. Just live day by day.

Many of us wish to be happy, yet unfortunately, happiness is merely a state of mind. How do you define happiness anyway? We often anchor our happiness on certain moments or tangible objects; however, life is a long journey with unavoidable twists and turns. Even if we achieve our goal — the so-called accomplishments that are supposed to bring us happiness — we still do not feel satisfied and continue searching for the next big thing. Instead, believe in the beauty of “daily happiness” and go with the flow. Although it might seem that we have not accomplished much during the day, our mind and body have, in fact, worked relentlessly to make sure we complete our daily chores, finish work responsibilities, and take care of ourselves. Thus, instead of trying to control the distant future, celebrate yourself and find some moments of joy throughout the day, whether it is an extra hour of sleep or eating your fourth bagel of the week.

Lesson Two: Be easy on yourself in terms of practicing daily self-care activities

There are countless articles and influencers about different techniques to take care of your mental and physical health, such as exercising, meditating, journaling, eating nutritious food, or practicing gratitude. These activities are undoubtedly beneficial for our overall well-being, but frankly speaking, when your mind is occupied with intense emotions, getting through the day already requires a lot of effort. Without careful consideration, those self-care acts might inadvertently push us into the productivity rabbit hole of always having to do something and act on our problems immediately. Therefore, be gentle with yourself. You have time. Once you learn to slow down and savour your moments, a sense of clarity and direction is entailed. If you insist on journaling or exercising every day, good for you, but if not, a few days a week already works wonders.

Lesson Three: Allow yourself to feel the emotions

We are emotional beings. We feel things deeply, and that’s the beauty of life. Sometimes acknowledging the emotions accentuates the pain, yet it also cultivates resilience and allows us to release negative emotions healthily. One of the determining factors in psychological problems is emotional avoidance since it only numbs our feelings without addressing the root causes. Additionally, once this tension builds up over time, it can lead to bigger and more unbearable issues, such as depression and suicidal thoughts. Therefore, no matter how tempting it is to cover up our emotion and deny it, we must face it upfront and trust that this period will pass. Accepting that you are in pain and need help is also a form of courage. If you do not feel the need to share your struggle with anyone, that’s acceptable, but find a way to channel your emotions, such as engaging in creative expressions or relaxation activities.

For me, crying became my self-soothing system. At times, I wondered if I appeared to be weak and emotionally immature when having a tendency to cry during hardship. Nevertheless, without those moments of journaling, shedding tears, or accepting defeat, I might have never felt a sense of release and known that I have the inner strength to overcome these burdens. Hence, be you. Cry, scream, punch a pillow, or indulge yourself in your favourite snacks and movies for as long as you wish, but be sure to return. It might be pouring rain today, but who knows? Tomorrow it might be sunny, and you might find yourself enjoying an ice cream.

Frankly speaking, I have no reason to even be writing this article. I am in the stage where I wake up each day questioning my existence and life purpose, crying, working, and then repeating it all the next day. However, I also remember some joyful moments I had throughout the day, such as being excited about a newly discovered song or future opportunities. It’s okay to have some days where you just want to get by. Remind yourself that you have come this far in life, so might as well just hang in another day to see what awaits.