Tame Your Impulse Buying

Have you been binge-shopping between bouts of binge-watching and doomscrolling? Many of us have used shopping to soothe the pain of the last year, sometimes even when we didn't have the cash to spare. If your credit cards are maxed out or you've decided to spend less, taking a little time for reflection can help you save money and buy fewer unnecessary items.

What? Review Your Past Buying Habits

Take some time to look back over your spending for the last year or so. What types of things did you buy? Why did you buy them? If your buying was different last year than in the past, look a little deeper at how you hoped the purchases would make you feel. Then look for alternatives that will fulfill that need.

I just looked at my Amazon purchases for 2020. I bought my usual ton of books, some electronic gadgets--including two computers--and lots of cozy fabric items like silk pillowcases (yeah, not worth it), furry blankets, and soft pajama pants.

So what? Examine your emotions

Ask yourself why you bought the items you did. Were you buying things that make you feel beautiful, or successful? Did the purchases actually make you feel good? For how long?

Comfort was a major theme for me. I needed tactile sensation and wanted to be cozy and comfortable. Clearly, not being able to hug my friends was a factor in my shopping. Knowing that, I can try to find other non-shopping strategies to fit my need. Bubble baths and candles might be one idea.

Consider listing your purchases and rating them on how much they "dull existential dread" as Maya Kossoff did. What scored higher than 5/10? Why were those helpful?

So, the computer I bought last year dulled the dread because it allowed me to start writing more again. Writing makes me feel like I'm doing something productive and helpful for the world, even if it's only writing self-help articles in the midst of a global pandemic.

I also know that I have a weakness for buying things on sale. There is an extra little rush when you get a particularly good deal that is intoxicating. So watch your emotions on that end, as well.

Now What? Take time to consider before you buy

Before you hit that "Proceed to Checkout" button, consider what you learned in your evaluation of what you bought last year and why you did so. Take into account those "whys" and take time to ask yourself some practical questions about the item you are thinking of buying:

1. Where will you put it? If your closet is already overflowing, consider donating some items before you buy again. I try to impose a "one in, one out" rule for clothes, since they are my biggest shopping temptation. If it is an adorable decorative item, does it fit with your current home decor?

2. How many of these do you already have? So, yeah, I might not have needed a second computer this year, but the latest update of Stardew Valley wouldn't run on the Chromebook. And neither would half of the writing tools I'd been drooling over all year. Have I mentioned that I am a little geeky? And that I can rationalize any purchase that doesn't put a strain on my budget. Yeah, early retirement is probably just a daydream.

3. How long will this item be used? How long will it make you happy or serve a purpose? This week, a heated shiatsu back massager sounds like the best thing I could possibly own. But in another month, will it be in the back of a closet with my George Foreman grill?

4. Will the item fit your lifestyle and budget in the future? Do you want to buy premium gas to drive a sports car every day? Will you be able to walk that pound puppy often enough when you have to go back to the office to work? Do you want to buy "on trend" items every season, or would it be better to buy classics and keep them for longer?

5. Are you purchasing this to please yourself or someone else? Why? Does the purchase fit your values? Are you buying it to impress someone else? How important is it to make that impression? How does the purchase fit in with your values and your sense of self? Do you know where and how is the product is made, or the ethics of the company? Do you care?

6. Consider the money, both short-term and long-term. There is a reason so many things are sold with a subscription these days. Only $1 a week? I can buy something at that price without even thinking about it. But add up a bunch of those "inexpensive" subscriptions and you can have a whopper of a bill. I totaled all my streaming services last month. It turns out that I am paying more than I used to complain about with cable. Bye-bye Disney Plus!

Applying reflective practice

Slowing down and consciously choosing your actions instead of acting on impulse sometimes takes a little bit of doing. Reflective practice helps you make better choices and move your life in the direction you want it to go. This article applied reflective practice to taming impulse buying, but you can use the same model for any life change.

An easy-to-remember model for reflection is to ask yourself three questions: What? So What? Now What?

What? This is your data-collecting phase. Identify what has happened and what is currently happening in your life. Looking at everything you bought in 2020 is asking yourself the "What?"

So What? This is the phase in which you make meaning out of the actual events. You examine your feelings, identify how your activities fit into your values and life goals, and evaluate what has happened. Asking yourself why you bought what you did helps you

Now What? Based on your evaluation, what are your plans for the future? Envision how you will maintain the good things in your life and what you will do to make the changes you would like. Asking yourself questions about each purchase can be a way to moderate your spending habits.