Swan Song

2020 was a rough year for the world, but for my family, 2021 was even harder.

In February, my closest aunt and my last surviving grandparent both ended up in the hospital on the same day for completely different afflictions, and they both passed away within a week of each other.

After an entire year of social distancing from them- thinking we'd have more time once everyone was fully vaccinated- their losses were beyond brutal and difficult to face.

All the hugs we had deferred until the CDC deemed the act safe again became nothing more than painful reminders of time wasted apart.

That was time we could never get back, and that concept was not an easy one for any of us to digest.

If that weren't bad enough, we lost three more loved ones in as many months.

It was hard to see past the hurt for quite a while, but out of that pain, creativity blossomed more fiercely than ever before.

I have dabbled in art my whole life, enjoying its many glorious forms from writing stories and film scripts to pencil portraits and oil paintings.

But after February, art became more than just a hobby. It became my salvation.

I now dedicate a sizable chunk of my evening hours to unwinding from a stress-filled day with a fun new project and an audiobook that I can disappear into while allowing my hands to function via sense-memory.

And when the night is over and the book has ended, I have a brand new piece of art to add to my collection.

I've even recently tried my hand at 3D wooden model building, incorporating it to my repertoire!

Personally, I love the mechanical ones that move and play music.

With such intricate parts involved, it takes an incredible amount of patience and persistence to complete each model.

But when it is finally finished, there is a fantastic sense of accomplishment, especially if you wind it up and it actually functions the way it was designed to do!

There is just something so cathartic about working with your hands and creating art. It instills a sense of calm equal to mediation itself.

Once you get the hang of how the instructions for a model work, or how you want to layer your paints, the rest can be done autonomously.

That is when I am able to focus more on my audiobook and take off on a mental adventure for the evening.

On the nights when my mind needs a bit more of a challenge, I also have a collection of puzzles that I enjoy piecing together.

For an added bonus, I have discovered that I can put them together print-side down as well! Talk about a real challenge...

Lately, I have been alternating between puzzles and building models. Due to some minor nerve damage in my dominant arm recently, my hand hasn't been as steady as it used to be, making it rather difficult to draw or paint.

But hopefully the damage will not be permanent and I will return to the fine arts again soon!

Art has truly helped me through many difficult times in my life, but more importantly, posting my art online has brought happiness and comfort to others who are also struggling these days for one reason or another.

Some have even reached out and requested sketches of their own recently lost loved ones, giving me a new sense of purpose and an opportunity to pay it forward.

Art has definitely been my saving grace this year, and it will forever remind me fondly of those that I love, and those who encouraged me most to follow my passions.