Success Isn't About Saying 'Yes' or 'No', it's about self-will

Sarah had always been the "yes" girl. If someone needed help with their homework, Sarah was there. If there was a committee that needed a volunteer, Sarah’s hand was up. It didn’t matter what was asked of her—Sarah’s answer was almost always "yes." She believed that saying "yes" was the key to success, thinking that by being agreeable and accommodating, she would be appreciated and valued.

But as Sarah got older, she started to feel the weight of all those "yeses." Her calendar was packed, her energy drained, and her personal goals were slipping further out of reach. She was constantly busy but felt like she was getting nowhere. It was then that she met Jane, a new coworker who seemed to have everything together. Jane was confident, assertive, and respected by everyone in the office. Intrigued, Sarah decided to observe Jane closely.

One afternoon, Sarah got the chance to chat with Jane during a lunch break. "Jane, I’ve noticed you’re really good at managing your time and commitments. How do you do it?" Sarah asked, hoping for a magic formula.

Jane smiled. "You know, it’s not about saying 'yes' or 'no' all the time. It’s about knowing what you want and having the self-will to stick to it," she said, taking a sip of her coffee.

Sarah was puzzled. "Self-will? What do you mean?"

Jane leaned in, as if about to share a secret. "Self-will is about understanding your priorities and making decisions that align with them. It means saying 'yes' when something truly matters to you and 'no' when it doesn’t, regardless of what others might think."

Sarah thought about this. She realized that she often said "yes" out of a sense of obligation or fear of disappointing others, not because it was something she truly wanted or needed to do. She decided to give Jane’s advice a try.

The first test came quickly. The office was organizing a big charity event, and Sarah was asked to lead one of the committees. Normally, she would have said "yes" without hesitation. But this time, she paused. Sarah loved helping with charity work, but she also knew that leading the committee would require a significant time commitment, and she was already spread too thin. Remembering Jane’s words, Sarah politely declined the offer and suggested a colleague who was equally passionate about the cause but had more time.

Surprisingly, the sky didn’t fall. Her colleagues understood, and Sarah felt a weight lift off her shoulders. She realized that by saying "no," she wasn’t letting anyone down—she was simply making room for the things that truly mattered to her.

As weeks passed, Sarah became more intentional with her decisions. She began to see the power of self-will. She volunteered for projects that aligned with her career goals and passions. She dedicated time to hobbies she had neglected and reconnected with friends she had lost touch with. Her calendar was still full, but it was filled with things that made her happy and fulfilled.

One day, Sarah bumped into Jane again. "Jane, I have to thank you. Your advice about self-will changed everything for me," she said, beaming.

Jane smiled warmly. "I’m glad to hear that, Sarah. Remember, success isn’t about how many times you say 'yes' or 'no.' It’s about having the self-will to make the right choices for yourself.

"Sarah nodded, finally understanding. Success wasn’t about being agreeable or accommodating—it was about being true to oneself. It was about having the self-will to pursue what mattered most, even if it meant saying "no" more often. With this new perspective, Sarah felt more empowered than ever. She was ready to take on the world, one intentional choice at a time.