Student Council

When I was in 10th grade, my mom decided to put me in a new environment and space. I had been home-schooled for several years, and my mom wanted me to become more socially active. I did not know if this was a good idea, because I was not used to socializing with kids my age and getting out of my comfort zone. My mother decided that it would be best for me not to go to school but instead join a home-school committee with public classes and activities for the average homeschooler. Not only were their fun activities, but the students got to make their own clubs if you were on student council. Very few kids were on student council and had a leadership role.

On my first day of school, I immediately signed up for student council and any other activities I may have wanted to do outside of my classes. I expected my first day of school to be a new journey in my life and one I would never forget. But may I remind you that I knew nothing about this new environment or any students. After my first class, which was chemistry, it was lunchtime. I viewed the lunchroom for 5 seconds and knew exactly where I would sit. I sat at the biggest and loudest table in the room. Everyone seemed to know each other, and I believed that I would push myself outside my comfort zone if I sat with them. When I sat down, everyone questioned me about who I was and what classes I took at the school. I kindly introduced myself and even asked a few questions about them. When the spotlight was off me, they began to continue gossiping as they did before I sat with them. They would speak of funny situations with students and teachers that I would consider embarrassing. I did not like what was being said at all, but I felt like I had no friends and that I should do anything to get people to notice and like me. Then everyone asked me if I was in student council, and I did not know yet because I had to get accepted by the dean first. I responded by lying and saying yes, which they believed. They then told me to meet them after school for their first student council meeting of the year. Luckily the dean came and told me I was approved to join student council before the end of the day.

It seemed everyone was cool with me and accepted me at the meeting, but I was wrong. I was naturally a quiet person, but I was louder than usual so I could fit in with them. The boy next to me quietly whispered, "you're trying way too hard." I would make jokes that were not funny or even bring up drama situations to get their attention. As time went on and things continued, students of the council would talk about me behind my back and how I should not be a part of their council. The President of the council informed me that some girls were upset with something I had said. I had said so many things that I could not remember what I said that upset them. Two weeks into my new school year, the school dean told me that everyone voted to kick me out of student council because of my behavior. This broke my heart and hurt me internally. I did not understand how they gossiped and said unkind things to me without any tension between us. None of them were ever punished, yet I was kicked out for trying to feel better about myself and fit in. I was so embarrassed, and I told my mom I never wanted to go back to school, and I was just fine working at home. I truly wanted to bring harm to myself and kill myself, but my mom said no. My mom told me that we all go through times of humiliation and embarrassment, but the best thing to do was prove not to them but to me that they were wrong for kicking me out.

On my next day of school, I walked to all my classes, embarrassed and not speaking to anyone. When lunchtime came, I walked into the lunchroom and sat by myself. Out of nowhere, my mom came with my baby brother and sat with me for lunch. My mom knew how hurt I was, and she came to comfort and console me as I was sad. Everyone at the large table across stared at me to see what I was doing. I believe they expected me to come and sit with them even after everything that happened. I was so thankful my mom came to sit with me. At that moment, my mom could have been shopping or doing anything else, but she thought about me and came to comfort me. At that moment, I was thankful for my mom. When lunch break was over, I continued my classes for the day with my head high. When the day was over, a few student council students came to me to tell me that they never had a problem with me and that they felt that it was best I was kicked out for the good of their club. I simply ignored them and kept walking. I then realized I was unique and special and that I never had to be someone I was not to be liked. At that moment, I heard my mom's voice in my head tell me, "They are not true friends unless they like you for you."

-Thankyou you Mom, this is dedicated to you!