Stepping out in Confidence

August 18, 2018, the day I hosted my first event, "Stepping out in Confidence." The event was my way to reach others and help them live the life they wanted and deserved, but it didn't occur to me until the day of the event that I was taking one of the biggest steps in my own life as well.

Coming from a broken and abusive home where both parents had gone through their own challenges, I made a commitment to myself to change the narrative in my life no matter how long, how painful and what it would cost me to make sure I didn't let my upbringing destroy me and my future. Instead, deciding to use it as my platform to share my story to help and empower others.

I was stepping out in confidence, openly sharing all my painful memories in a room full of familiar and unfamiliar faces for the first time!

The more I prepared for the day, the more and more I became fearless, even more determined, and excited. The day before, I had left a job that was not only depriving me of growth but also was beginning to affect my life and surroundings, and I was not going to let all the hard work go to waste. So here I was stepping out of a career as a scientist, a role that just wasn’t fulfilling me as it once did and bearing all.

Thirteen years ago I started what will today become my main purpose in life, motivating and coaching through workshops, speaking events, and one-on-one sessions.

It began in a Sunday school children's church and has taken me on a journey working and helping incredible people young and old from around the world. Throughout every setback, challenge, and adversity I faced, I kept believing and sowing seeds into my dream, and today here I am harvesting those wonderful seeds.

My purpose in life is to coach, motivate, and empower people through talks, workshops, books, and meetups, and I am not allowing self-doubt, fear, lack of confidence, or others' limited opinions deprive me of having that life as it once did.

Ever been told you're not good enough and believed it?

Ever chased a dream and at the last hurdle, the self doubt creeps in and you take a different route?

All this and more has happened to me and, rather than having it deter me, I pushed and believed in myself. I pushed and learnt. Learnt to love myself and what I stand for.

I have always wanted to work with children, babies to be exact, so much so that I first got my certification in nursing and midwifery, before venturing out into the scientific world to join the search for my brother's disability and help him improve his quality of life.

This consumed my life: I studied, I researched, and I was relentless in my end goal. Through this, the disability is now known, thanks to an awesome human being. First hand I saw what a goal, a dream, and a purpose can do for an individual.

Since then, I have been making sure that my lifestyle fits the life I want. I have been working hard to ensure not a single dream, idea, goal, or vision goes to waste, even when I was told countless time to give up and that I won't make it. I no longer listen to the naysayers and I am encouraging you not to give up on your dreams either. It is YOUR dream for a reason.

That is not to say don’t listen ever! Of course I look for knowledge and try and learn from some amazing people in life, from family, friends, pastors, and speakers around the world. It is the skill of learning WHO to listen to.

Today, I am not here to sell you false hope that it has been a smooth journey: I am here to tell you that it was worth it. Today, I am working full time on my coaching and motivational speaking. In fact, this month I sent a shipment of my Motivational Journals to Nigeria in partnership with a charity to help educate and motivate young girls in schools. An amazing feeling, reaching young girls in my home country to help shape their lives.

The benefits of living a life that fits you... I am currently waiting to begin a course to obtain my Doula certification. I am able to combine the two things I love doing and believe me that feeling is the best.

Whatever stage in life you are at, don't give up, rather step out in confidence. I shared my personal journey from an abusive broken home, rejection, homelessness, relationships, and friendship issues and so much more and, believe me, it felt great. While talking, I realised my past, my struggles, and my life were given to me and put into my hands to help lift others up. It felt comforting to know that all that pain, all that suffering has got me to a place now that was hard to imagine.

There is the key; it was hard to imagine but I made it. I kept on working on my dreams whenever I got the opportunity and I am so glad I did. I knew the doors would one day open for me.

Wherever you are today, if you have gone through some unimaginable situations in life or you are currently going through difficult times I want to remind you that YOU GOT THIS.

If you can picture the future you want and see yourself in then you can achieve it.

1. Do not give up.
2. Do not feel you are broken or unworthy.
3. Do not let the negative outside voices get into your heart or mind.
4. Do not underestimate yourself.
5. Do not struggle alone.

Surround yourself with positive, goal-setting, hardworking, honest, and confident people, as they will not only help you, but they will challenge you to constantly ask yourself the question, What's next?

Comparing your life and success with others is not worth it, as YOU, your story and your journey are different from everyone else—it is yours for a reason.

So use the pain for good, use the hardship and challenges to stay motivated and as a compass to direct you towards the life you need and deserve so you don't settle when you know there is more for you.

I am living my life, the life I always wanted and it wasn't an easy, smooth happy journey, but it was worth it. My life and early days may have been messy, all over the place, scary and damaging, yet it is relatable. It made me who I am today, and every day I remind myself of how far I have come looking back at the letters, post-it notes, and plans I made in those hard and dark times to stay committed and true to myself.

Yes, if I can do it, going from that broken home, finishing high school at 13 and spending ten years from being deprived an education to not being able to afford the basics to now feeling grateful with five going on six degrees and living the life that that little girl once dreamed of, YOU CAN TOO.

So where do you need to start? Visualize your dream, set yourself a goal and timeline and get into action and don't stop or take anything for granted even after you have achieved it all.

I hope this resonates or helps someone as I step out and share today. Thanks for reading and stay in touch if you have more questions or would love to find out how to stay focused and stay motivated every day.