Staying Present to Overcome Anxiety about the Past and Future

It can feel like there's too much going on at one time, which creates anxiety and frustration. In reality, many times these feelings come from thinking about things that already happened, or things that may happen later. It's important to differentiate between what we are currently experiencing and what we have experienced or might experience. Knowing the difference can save us from a lot of heartaches.

If you’re struggling to focus on the moment you can try using your senses to feel things that are happening now. For example, run your hands through cold water and try to focus on that feeling. You can try focusing on your breathing as well. Pick something that is happening right now and hold on to it for a couple of minutes to pull yourself to the present moment.

Thinking about the future is normal, maybe a little too normal. Don’t get me wrong, planning is a good thing. Our brains have developed to be able to create goals and strategies for the future. We can use that to our advantage, the problem comes when we stay in the future, or even in the past.

Thinking too much about the future is a surefire way to feel that the present moment is dull, stressful, or not where we want to be. If we think too much about what we want to be doing in a few days or weeks, it’s hard for us to enjoy what’s happening in our life now.

I once had a conversation with a neighbor of mine who said that she worried too much when she was in high school. She said that she would be happy when she made it to her senior year. When that happened, she said that she would be happy when she made it to college. A little over a year later she was in college, but she felt the same. She said that she would be happy when she got married and started a family. This cycle continued until she realized that happiness is something we have to try to find every day of our lives.

Focusing on the past can be harmful to our mental well-being too. Taking a glance in the rearview mirror is beneficial when we do it with a growth mindset. Learning from our mistakes as well as our successes. Remembering fond moments with others or good things that we were given. Staying too long in the past can create anxiety about where we are now. Maybe things will never be as good as they were. Maybe I was only happy because I was with this person, or because I had that job. I’ll never be happy the way I am now.

Life is short, and getting caught up too much in the past or future is a good way to lose track of the present. Find things that you can enjoy every day. They don’t have to be time-consuming or expensive. Focusing on your breathing, eating your favorite snack, or spending time with someone else can be great ways to feel present.

You can treat the past and future like textbooks in a class. They’re important to study and spend time in but once you’ve learned from them it’s ok to put them away and move on to the next assignment or activity. Don’t get caught up thinking too much about something that you can’t change. Keep an open mind and live the life you have now. Create a safe space for yourself in the moment so that you can live freely without worries about things that have happened or will happen.