Simple Ways to Be Thankful Everyday

One of my favorite memories from childhood was a trip we took on Thanksgiving to a cousin's home nearby in the Ozark Mountains of Arkansas. The day dawned cold and crisp, and there was an undeniable excitement in the air; we were changing up our usual Thanksgiving routine and visiting some of my father's favorite relatives.

As we approached the home, I knew it would be a good day. Ahead of us stood an elegant, stately home; large with white pillars, it stood in front of a long front yard and winding driveway. In my 10-year-old mind, we were visiting a castle.

And then? Wouldn't you know it...the snow began to fall. Big, fluffy, firm snowflakes that soon covered the ground.

I don't remember much more of the day; my mind is mostly filled with memories of that first view of the home and the falling snow. I've been reassured that the food was delicious and the fellowship sweet, and I take my parents' word for it.

I do, however, have a very vivid memory from the ending of that Thanksgiving day. And it's one that has stayed on my mind for decades, because of the way it taught me a new perspective on gratitude.

The night had gotten colder and the roads were slippery, but my parents and brother and I ventured home with confidence. I sat in the backseat ready to be bundled up in my bed, full from the meal and eager to wake up to a day of snow fun.

Our trip home was interrupted by a stop on the side of the road to help a hitchhiker--something that often happened more than you might think in the mid 1970s. Hitchhiking was quite common, and my father always (always!) stopped to see if the individual or family needed help.

I can recall my Mom questioning Dad's decision to stop (she was as generous as him, but I imagine she also looked forward to a warm homecoming). But, he did stop. He talked to the man, we gave him a ride to his destination, and my parents made she sure he was taken care of for the rest of the cold night.

I vaguely remember feeling a little bit of fear, but it was overcome by the knowledge that this was something Mom and Dad just did. They also took my brother and I out weekly on trips to deliver food and other essentials to people in our community who needed it. They invited strangers into our home for holiday meals.

On that Thanksgiving, I got an important lesson on how gratitude is two-pronged. We are grateful for the material things we have...the warm house, the big yard, the falling snow, the connection to family...but we are grateful even if we don't have those things. And we become more thankful when we share it (our gratitude and also our gifts) with others.

I know with all assurance that my parents' example is the reason I am a glass-half-full person today; it's the reason I'm able to find reasons to be grateful, even when things aren't necessarily going the way I want them to. Sure, I have those moments of grumpiness and doubt--who doesn't?--but I'm able to pretty quickly turn them around.

If you struggle to find reasons to be thankful this holiday season, might I recommend the following practices? Use them as you celebrate Thanksgiving and go through the rest of the holidays...but, even more importantly, utilize them during the rest of the year.

Keep things in perspective.

That experience on the Thanksgiving Day of my childhood is the perfect example of perspective. My blessings felt a sharp contrast to the hitchhikers' dilemma of being cold and stranded.

This doesn't mean that you live in an unrealistic, Pollyana-ish life that doesn't acknowledge struggles and bad times, but you try to find the good amidst the hardness.

My husband lost his father a little over a year ago, and it's hard for him right now to find things to be thankful for; it's understandable that his sadness and grief sometimes takes over for him. What, though, can he see amidst the bad days? He can be thankful for his mother and his sister and their shared memories; he can focus on things his father loved and be grateful for those things as well.

Remember.

Memories can be the best reminders of thankfulness--not just for memories of good times, but for knowledge of how things that seemed insurmountable emerged into something beautiful.

As you try and make gratitude more natural in your everyday life, focus on things in the past that brought you a joy (a special day, a meaningful moment, a fun trip, a notable person); thoughts of those things can add a smile to your face and a lightness to your step.

And think of times when you were at your worst, then look at them from a 20/20 hindsight position. How did things turn around for good? Be thankful for the growth and changes in your life

Enjoy simple pleasures.

Gratitude often shows up in small ways. You know? Things like (some of my favorites): college football, science fiction movies, a trip to a favorite coffee shop, a margarita with friends.

When my three daughters were young we shared a holiday tradition of writing down things we were thankful for and then sharing them together on Thanksgiving morning. I always smiled when they read things like "macaroni and cheese" or "Justin Bieber" or "kitty cats." While they were appreciative of the big things (God and sisters always got a shout-out), the little things often meant just as much or more.

Breathe.

We live in a busy world and a society build on rushing from one activity to the next. Our minds are often preoccupied with success and comparison, which can lead to exhaustion and mental hardships.

Gratitude is hard to be found during such times.

An easy way to recenter and focus--to slow down and look at things through the proper lens--is to breathe. Literally breathe. Add in a prayer or meditation; say out loud something you're thankful for.

Replace complaints with blessings.

Do you know anyone who seems to enjoy complaining about everything? To find something wrong about every situation or individual? I don't know about you, but those people just drain the energy out of me; I have to separate myself from them, because their personality can be contagious.

If you find that you yourself tend to be negative in that way--acknowledge it and vow to look for blessings instead. How can you turn something negative around? Can you simply keep your mouth shut instead of voicing a complaint?

One of my favorite collections of verses is found in Habakkuk, an Old Testament book that focuses on a proud people being humbled.

"Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,

and there are no grapes on the vines;

even though the olive crop fails,

and the fields lie empty and barren;

even though the flocks die in the fields,

and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord!

I will be joyful and thankful in the God of my salvation!"

Even when there are legitimate things to complain about--no food in their fields!--there are also things to be thankful for.

Write them down.

One of my favorite techniques for finding gratitude is to write my feelings down. Putting thoughts, concerns, and fears into words can free them; and putting your blessings into words can make them more real.

There are many ways to write down thoughts of thanksgiving: Keep a journal of your daily life (you can include the challenges, but also celebrate the good things); write a poem (even if you can't imagine yourself writing poetry, give it a try); share your thoughts on social media (use Facebook to share thoughts of gratitude, or you could even start a blog); keep a gratitude journal (write down a list--or at least one thing--you're thankful for everyday).

Vocalize gratitude.

Years ago I read an article about how the words "Thank you" can make a world of difference to waiters and others in the service industry. From then on, I made a conscious effort to give a heartfelt "thank you" to anyone working hard to help me. And I've extended it--to a co-worker working behind the scenes, to a child who tries hard at a task, to a relative who has cooked me a meal.

Vocalize your gratitude to others. Put it into words. Be specific about what their actions mean to you.

Vocalize your gratitude to God if you follow him. Prayerfully say "Thank you" for the gifts in your life.

As you vocalize gratitude, it gains more power. It becomes more active in your life; soon it becomes a habit.

One of my favorite quotes about thanksgiving comes from Norman Vincent Peale, who took gratitude to another level with his book The Power of Positive Thinking. He said, "The more you practice the art of thankfulness, the more you have to be thankful for.”

It's a cycle.

And it can start today.