Silver Linings

So my VanLife BFFs, Kevin and Robyn, and I were getting ready to head…somewhere. We were… on the South Island? It was… summer? Probably.

Because I asked a question I’ve asked numerous times in my life before: Are you bringing your bathing suit?

I was about to hop into their self-contained Bongo for an excursion and I couldn’t figure out what to bring.

Kevin responded “We always have our bathing suits” and I felt like an idiot. I always had mine, too. This was just the first time I was third-wheeling for a vanlife outing. And I had quickly reverted back to the “what do I want to bring as an option vs. what do I expect will actually be useful” mentality instead of just living with the going of the flow that is the wonder of vanlife. But change can distract you, even from a new habit or routine.

And now. Now it’s winter. Winter is coming. Winter is here. It’s not just in Westeros, it’s in the Southern Hemisphere. With the cold comes hibernation and with hibernation comes making a comfy home.

I will always want all my basics available at all times. I will now (hopefully) always want little more than the basics. I will never complain about space or size because living in a van smaller than a bed has brought me weird amounts of happiness. I will always know exactly how amazing a resource electricity is.

I didn’t just go camping for a weekend and miss ice cream and chilled wine. No, I can count the ways electricity has changed the world. You could guess, but I can define. And I can still explain, in the same breath, how amazing living in a van truly is.

But routines change and norms alter with winter. You eat earlier because it gets dark earlier. You go out less because it’s freaking freezing. Everyone has their own version of hibernating. And the warmth of a heater and four walls can bring back old habits and comforts.

With one of my final New Zealand chapters beginning it’s interesting to look at this journey. What I expected. What I wanted. What happened. What changed. What’s still changing.

It’s surprising the way growth shows up.

I’m doing things in this country I never would have considered before. It’s amazing how a place and a lifestyle can stretch and test you.

Especially in a country as safe as New Zealand, van living is a beautiful cross between the freedom of outdoor living and safety, warmth and protection. And that balance has given me the space to learn how much I love sunrises. And that I enjoy driving for a beautiful roadtrip. And how to be grateful.

I had heard countless times and ways before that gratitude is a key component to feeling happy. But I love giving a good explanation and never gave myself the chance to truly understand the power of words and thoughts. They can be immensely powerful or decidedly nothing. And I have felt that authentic gratitude is immensely powerful. It opens up the space to put your energy only where it needs to be, only where it matters.

I may have left the States with the hope of becoming more outgoing or confident or finding what brings me joy. And I can downright say that gratitude has opened the door to make all of that possible. It allows me to not cling to the tiny terrible things. It makes the bigger picture filled with silver linings and rainbows. It makes the to do list graspable and the complaining a 10-minute exercise in empathy and thinking outside the box.

My biggest challenge during the start of this winter season has been in securing work and a room. This Instagram-famous tiny mountain town has attracted backpackers year round and tourists during summer and winter. Which are defined down to the week here. So being in the lull or the shoulder or whatever you want to call it is tough. Which is still on for a couple more weeks.

So if you’re trying to figure out when to start your Working Holiday Visa, come at the cusp of a season, not with a month left of winter, because then you can’t get half the winter season jobs.

But since I’m now able to find and feel gratitude, it wasn’t difficult to become okay with the time and rejection job searching requires. The silver linings are endless when you have your own spot at Lake Wanaka.

A silver lining of living in a van is having your few possessions available all the time and learning more about yourself (because you’ve got nothing else to pass the time).

A silver lining of looking for work is learning the layers of amazing places that are available to work at, and realizing that the influx of jobs to come hopefully also brings options and choice.

A silver lining of working is being able to meet new people and earn a little cash.

A silver lining of looking for a room is meeting people and getting to know the neighborhoods better.

A silver lining of paying rent for a room is having warmth, electricity, and a full bathroom at my beck and call.

A silver lining of winter is not having to wake up at 5am to see the sunrise or stay up till 11pm to see the stars.

A silver lining of being unsure is having everything as an option.

A silver lining of being introverted is learning how to listen to yourself.

A silver lining of challenging yourself is growth.