There have been numerous accounts where someone has pointed fingers at me, talked about me, laughed at me, or even just made fun of the way that I looked to THEM. I have always wondered what it was about me that someone didn't like or why at school or in public I would be the laughing stock of the day? Was it because of my skin color? How about the texture of my hair? or maybe it was because of my weight! And for so many years I have always felt like I had to do something about the way that I looked and my approach to my everyday life when being around or involved with others. I would always cry myself to sleep, miss out on school, get nervous when I am in public, and even tried fasting before....completely insane choices I made just to feel like I fit in with everyone else. I think that the biggest issue when it comes to loving yourself a certain way or finding that confidence for yourself is 'society'! Society is filled with cruel, angry, insecure monsters that don't feel good about themselves, so they tend to take it out on someone else and make that person feel like they are worthless, useless, ugly, fat, or just don't fit in with the world! Because of other people I never went out publicly, because of other people I never dressed up for me, because of other people I never do my hair often, because of other people I am sad inside, because of other people I do not love my body, and because of other people I do not love my skin! I have allowed so many people talk me down from feeling wonderful and it hurts me to know that because of them I let myself go completely. It took me 9 years (I am now 19) to bottle up all of that and stop crying just because of some comments that someone made about me because of their insecurities! I didn't know what 'self love' was all about until I met my fiance... he makes me feel so beautiful, he makes me feel like I am the only woman that he sees, he makes me feel glamorous, and he makes me feel like I don't have to prove this world anything at all and I absolutely love him for that. I love him for showing me that all it takes 'is' love and devotion to what you want to do and if it leads you somewhere it will lead you where you need to be! So what I am saying is that don't ever allow someone to make you feel like you have to hate yourself, don't allow anyone to make you feel like you aren't worth it, that you can never be beautiful in your own body because at the end of the day...they aren't happy with themselves! Continue wearing that dress that you want to wear, continue making up your face, continue wearing heels, and continue loving you for who you are not for what someone wants you to be! Self love starts with 'you' and you can do what you want to do, so f*$k what someone says about you because you are beautiful inside and out...never let anyone break your confidence because of what they're going through! Do this and you can be all you want and more, and remember God loves you for you and I love you for you too. Thank You so much for taking the time out to read my story I have held this in for a long time now trying to find the right words to say, and I finally did it! Please like and comment what you think I would really appreciate it <3!
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Pride Aside
When you're in a relationship we all know that an argument comes every now and then right? So what can we do to prevent them from happening or getting out of hand as they do? Well, I have learned that stopping an argument from happening is not about who can get their point across faster than the other one, and this also applies to when you are about to get into it with a stranger. The most common way to stop an argument from happening is always to "walk away and be the bigger person", and why that can be true it is not even close to "apologizing" when you were wrong! Lots of relationship arguments are often caused by saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, or moving the wrong way! While sometimes people can be sensitive it is always best to just apologize when you were in the wrong and knew that you were. For instance, there is a "myth" (some people love to call it) that women never apologize for their actions rather they defend them, and I can agree with that statement for I am a woman and I have experienced multiple encounters like this with my husband as well. Women tend to feel like "If I apologize then he thinks that he is over me or thinks that he won", but in an all-natural sense why would a man feel superior just because you apologized for a mistake or argument that you started? I am not saying that women always start the argument, but women have always been sensitive creatures that have an aggressive side sometimes I believe we can all agree on that! What causes a woman to be that way? What can a woman do to stop being that way? Why does everything have to be about who won or lost? Well, first and foremost a woman can get this feeling when having to apologize for something that she started, and typically just feeling that a man is trying to be over here causes what I like to call a "guard", and this isn't a guard in relation to when someone has hurt you in the past and you can't trust anyone after that...no I'm talking about the kind of guard that makes her feel like she HAS to react a certain way for him to understand or hear her! I do this a lot, so I would definitely know and I am not saying that every woman does this, but any stubborn woman does this and acts like it is natural when it really isn't at all lol. A woman that uses the "Guard Technique" is a stubborn woman and a woman that has waay too much 'pride'. Pride is also another example of what can make an argument hard to get over especially if both of you have pride! Those with pride always feel like they have something to say that could end the argument/situation, but they choose not to because of feeling "weak or feeling like that person will have power over them." This should never be the case because it will only make matters worse when feeling like an argument is getting out of hand simply apologize, when you feel yourself about to yell apologize when you feel yourself walking away apologize. Apologizing for your actions or mistakes will go a long way in your relationship no matter if you are engaged (like me), just boyfriend/girlfriend, friends, family, co-workers, or even just strangers because no matter what it was about you guys may see each other again, so tell me is the argument worth it anyway? On top of apologizing remember to put your pride aside because 9/10 the argument could have been resolved without any conflicts. I learned that apologizing goes a long way from my husband who has helped me throughout that journey, so I am hoping to touch other stubborn women with that as well and allow them to see that arguing for no reason is not cute at all it just pushes him away and sooner or later you will see a dramatic change, so try to fix it while you can. What I can really say is if you truly love someone and want something long-term wouldn't you change for them? I know I will and have all for my husband because he has been with me through thick and thin, so I honestly owe him that much to change! So remember to apologize when you were wrong and you will see so many changes in the way you will be approached it doesn't hurt to TRY!!
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