Sally, Unfiltered

I'm an introvert with low self-esteem.

I can admit it—I struggle to like myself, and I have low expectations of anyone else being able to, either. This means that I am often reserved and standoffish when engaging with others; I tend to not want to be vulnerable or expose too much of my personality, largely out of fear of judgment or rejection.

This wasn't always the case. I used to be a bit more outgoing and unapologetically myself, throwing caution to the wind and allowing people to react to my over-the-top personality as they may. But in recent years, I've found myself becoming more self-conscious and unsure of who I am and who I want to be.

These days, I express myself through my writing. Vocal is the only platform on which I share my inner thoughts and feelings, making this website the one place in the world where the real me makes a consistent appearance. I find it easier to express myself through the written word, which means that my story about letting my true self shine through is about, well, a story.

It all began with my Dream Date Challenge entry, "Going Solo."

I'm not sure that my take on this prompt really followed the instructions; the "dream date" that I described wasn't something that had actually happened, but the story that I wrote wasn't exactly a traditional work of fiction, either.

But this piece has always held a special place in my heart. "Going Solo" was the catalyst through which I finally revealed my true self to the Vocal community. This story was the first time I put myself out there and showed real personality in my writing.

I had no idea how the real me would be received by my readers. I hoped that, at the very least, people would get a kick out of the story's Miss Congeniality reference and (I think) clever conclusion, but I never expected to open up Vocal to find my work front and center on the site's homepage. What?! My very first Top Story!

Finally achieving Top Story recognition was both thrilling and confidence-building. But what made this experience even more validating was the external feedback I got from my readers. I was showered with hearts, tips, and supportive comments. I received complimentary messages through email, Facebook, and Twitter, all from women who had seen something of themselves in my words and appreciated me for expressing them. Several people wished me luck in the Challenge and expressed the hope that I would place.

I didn't, but this approval is what gave me the confidence to share more of myself going forward. That so many were able to relate to what I had written reassured me that who I was wasn't all that different from everybody else. And, even better, that I was someone who people seemed to like.

In addition, my use of humor, which I had been reluctant to employ in the past, landed smoothly, and I was excited to incorporate it into more of my stories going forward. I have done so, embarking on increasingly daring and outrageous writing ventures. Without this groundbreaking story, I would never have had the guts to share riskier pieces like "Thanks, Lindsay" and "Miss Imperfectly Fine."

"Going Solo" was a story about loving myself without the need for external validation or romantic partnership. Confessing my insecurities and revealing personal information about myself was empowering. It gave me more confidence in who I was and how I wished to present myself to the world. With each new story, I have opened up a bit more, tackling uncomfortable subjects like relationships, mental health, and abuse. With Vocal's help, I have become remarkably real.

I wrote this gem of a story in the hopes of finding acceptance and approval, and the Vocal community delivered, rewarding my authentic self with a safe space from which to grow and discover who I am. "Going Solo" empowered me to sparkle on my own terms, and now I'm shining bright like a (lab-grown) diamond.